I’m a Dad of 8 Kids – Here’s What Nobody Tells You About Big Families
Let’s get one thing straight: When people hear I’m the father of eight children, their eyes widen, their jaws drop, and the same three questions follow: “How do you afford it?” “Do you ever sleep?” and “Why on earth would you do this?!”
The truth is, parenting a large family isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s chaotic, messy, and occasionally feels like running a circus without a safety net. But it’s also filled with laughter, unexpected life lessons, and moments that make all the chaos worthwhile. If you’re curious about the real deal behind raising eight kids—or just want parenting tips from someone who’s survived toddler tantrums and teenage eye-rolls—let’s dive in.
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“How Do You Manage Time with So Many Kids?”
Let’s tackle the elephant in the room first. Yes, there are only 24 hours in a day, and no, I don’t have a time-turner from Harry Potter. The secret? Ruthless prioritization.
My wife and I live by two rules:
1. Schedule everything—even spontaneity. We use shared calendars, color-coded by kid, and block time for homework, meals, and activities. But we also leave “empty” slots for impromptu dance parties or late-night ice cream runs.
2. Teach kids to be self-sufficient early. By age five, our kids learn to make simple meals (think peanut butter sandwiches) and fold laundry. It’s not about perfection; it’s about teamwork.
Pro tip: Rotate one-on-one time. Every Sunday, one kid gets “Dad Day”—a two-hour window where we do anything they want, from building LEGO castles to binge-watching terrible YouTube videos. It keeps relationships strong amid the chaos.
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“Isn’t It Expensive? How Do You Afford Eight Kids?”
Money talk? Let’s get real. Kids are expensive, but big families have hidden economies of scale. Hand-me-downs become a lifestyle. Our youngest has never worn a new onesie, and our minivan has survived three teenage drivers. Here’s how we stretch our budget:
– Buy in bulk (and freeze everything). Costco is our temple. We stockpile snacks, toilet paper, and toothpaste like we’re prepping for the apocalypse.
– Embrace secondhand. Facebook Marketplace and thrift stores are goldmines for bikes, winter coats, and toys.
– Get creative with gifts. Birthdays and holidays focus on experiences rather than stuff. A camping trip or homemade coupon book for “10 free Dad jokes” often beats another plastic toy.
But the biggest financial lesson? Kids don’t need everything society says they do. We prioritize needs over wants and teach our kids the value of money early. Our 12-year-old now negotiates better than a used-car salesman—thanks to weekly allowance debates.
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“Do Your Kids Feel Like They Get Enough Attention?”
This question stings because every parent worries about it. The answer? It’s complicated.
In a big family, attention isn’t divided—it’s multiplied. Siblings become built-in playmates, tutors, and therapists. Our kids learn to share not just toys but also emotional support. When one struggles with math, another steps in to help. When someone’s heartbroken over a school crush, there’s always a sibling ready with ice cream and sarcasm.
That said, loneliness can creep in. We combat this by:
– Creating “noise-free zones” (like a cozy reading corner) where overwhelmed kids can recharge.
– Encouraging individual hobbies. Our 15-year-old writes fantasy novels; our 7-year-old is obsessed with bugs. Both get dedicated time to geek out.
The bottom line? Kids in large families learn early that love isn’t a finite resource. There’s always enough to go around.
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“What’s the Hardest Part?”
Two words: laundry and logistics.
I once calculated that we wash approximately 42 socks per day. Our laundry room looks like a fabric volcano erupted. As for logistics, coordinating school pickups, soccer games, and dentist appointments requires military precision. We’ve missed events, mixed up names, and shown up to the wrong practice field more times than I’d like to admit.
But the emotional challenges cut deeper. Seeing your child hurt and knowing you can’t fix it? That never gets easier, whether you have one kid or eight.
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“Do You Regret Having So Many Kids?”
Never. Not once.
Are there days I want to hide in the pantry with a chocolate bar? Absolutely. But regret? No. Every child has brought unique joy and perspective into our lives. Our oldest (now 19) teaches the little ones guitar; our 4-year-old reminds us to marvel at ladybugs and puddles.
Big families also foster resilience. Our kids navigate conflicts, compromise, and chaos daily—skills that’ll serve them well in adulthood. Plus, holidays are a blast. Imagine eight kids hyped on Christmas morning chaos—it’s like a tornado of wrapping paper and giggles.
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“Would You Recommend This Lifestyle to Others?”
Only if you’re ready to embrace controlled chaos. Large families aren’t “better”—just different. Here’s my litmus test:
1. Do you thrive in noise and mess? Our home is never quiet or tidy, and that’s okay.
2. Can you let go of perfection? Birthday cakes will be lopsided, and someone will always forget their permission slip.
3. Do you have a strong support system? Family, friends, or neighbors who can babysit or lend a listening ear are crucial.
If you answered “yes,” a big family might be your calling. If not, that’s okay too—parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all.
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Final Thoughts: The Magic of a Full House
Parenting eight kids has taught me that love grows exponentially, chaos is temporary, and laughter is the best stress reliever. Sure, we’ve had ER visits, sleepless nights, and arguments over who stole whose hairbrush. But we’ve also created inside jokes, impromptu living-room concerts, and a team that’s always got each other’s backs.
So, if you’re considering expanding your family—or just curious about the circus next door—remember: Kids aren’t a checklist. They’re a wild, wonderful adventure. And for this dad of eight, the ride has been worth every spilled juice box and mismatched sock.
Got more questions? Fire away in the comments—I’ve survived eight kids; I can handle anything!
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