Age Appropriate Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: What Actually Works
The question rang out across the neighborhood playground last April, loud enough that the dad pushing a swing two benches over looked over. My 5-year-old Lila had just spotted our new neighbor’s daughter, Mia, and pointed, asking, “Why is her skin a different color than mine?” I froze, the half-empty lemonade sippy cup I was holding leaking sticky juice onto my palm. I’d known anti-racism work was supposed to start young, but I’d never had to answer that question out of the blue before. I mumbled something quick about everyone being made different, herded Lila over to the slide, and spent the rest of our trip kicking myself for not having a better answer. That night, I sat down at my laptop and typed the question I’d been avoiding: what anti-racism resources are actually appropriate for a 5 year old?
What came up were dozens of listicles, roundups of 30+ books and activities, most of them clearly aimed at elementary kids twice Lila’s age. I put a hold on seven from the library, brought them home in that crinkly library tote that smells like old cardboard and bubble gum, and tested them out one by one at bedtime. Lila spilled goldfish crackers on the first one before we even got to page five. That book had illustrations of segregated water fountains and protest marches, and by page three Lila was asking why people wouldn’t let other people drink water, and I realized I was way out of my depth. She can’t conceptualize a time before she was born, let alone systemic injustice. Another was a generic “we are all special” book that didn’t actually answer the simple question she’d asked at the playground, just danced around it with vague pictures of kids holding hands. I started to panic—was I messing this up before I even started?
I texted my older sister, who’s taught pre-K for 12 years, and she told me to stop looking for big, heavy resources and start looking for things that meet 5 year olds where they are. Five year olds care about friends, ice cream, toys, and whether something is fair. They don’t care about abstract terms, and they can’t sit through 40 pages of complex history. She gave me a couple specific recommendations, and I tried them. First up was The Skin You Live In by Michael Tyler. It’s short, bouncy, rhymes, and talks about skin like it’s the suit you wear to run and jump and hug—all different colors, all good. No big speeches, no heavy history, just a simple answer to the question Lila had asked. We read it at bedtime that week, and after we finished, Lila turned to me and said “Mia has brown skin. Can we invite her to get ice cream after school tomorrow?” That’s when I knew it worked. It didn’t force grown-up concepts on her, it just gave her a gentle, clear framework that connected to her world.
I quickly learned that anti-racism resources for 5 year olds don’t have to be books, either. A couple days after we read that book, I dumped out Lila’s toy bin to put away laundry and realized every single doll she owned was pale blonde with straight hair. I didn’t order a fancy $50 custom doll, I just went on Target’s website and ordered a $12 Black baby doll with textured hair, the cheapest one they had in stock. When it came, Lila immediately named her Lulu, and now she brushes Lulu’s hair every night before bed, just like I brush hers. That’s a resource, right? It’s not a lesson plan, it’s a daily reminder that all kinds of people are part of her world. It’s low effort, cheap, and way more effective than any lecture I could give.
There are plenty of free, low-effort resources too, if you don’t want to spend money on new books or toys. I found a 2-minute song on YouTube from a kids’ channel called Pancake Manor called “All Kinds of People” that talks about different skin, different hair, different families, and Lila sings it in the car every day on the way to preschool. We also started making small, no-cost switches to the shows she already watches—instead of automatically picking the same old cartoon with all white main characters, we pick ones that have kids that look like Mia, that show different kinds of families. That doesn’t take any extra work, it’s just a quick click when we turn on the TV.
Not every resource I’ve tried has worked, of course. I picked up the popular Antiracist Baby board book on a friend’s recommendation, and it was just a little too preachy and wordy for Lila—she got bored halfway through every time we read it, so it lives on the bottom shelf now. That’s okay, it works for some kids, just not mine. You don’t have to check every book off a list to be doing it right.
Last week, we were in the checkout line at the grocery store, and Lila spotted a Black woman with a bright blue headwrap standing in front of us. She leaned around me and said loudly, “I love your blue headwrap! My doll Lulu has hair like that.” The woman laughed and said thank you, and we moved on. I didn’t jump in to give a big speech about diversity, I just smiled. That’s enough for right now.
I know in a couple years, when Lila starts asking harder questions about why people are mean to each other because of the color of their skin, we’ll need bigger books, harder conversations, more advanced resources. Right now, I’m still trying things out—some work, some don’t. I don’t have it all figured out, and I don’t think I need to. All I know is that the messy, small start I’ve got right now, with a single good book, a $12 doll, and a silly song my kid loves, is better than waiting until she’s older to start. That’s enough for today.
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