When Your Child Is Passed Over Again for an AP Position: What I Learned As A Teacher And Mom
The plastic conference table stuck to the back of my forearm, my iced coffee sweating through the paper course list the guidance counselor set out. She slid the sheet across the table, and there it was, just like last year: Pre-AP 10th Grade Language and Composition crossed out in blue pen, Regular English 10 written in the blank space. Passed over again.
I’m an 8th grade English teacher myself, so I know the drill. AP classes are capped at 25 kids to keep discussion manageable. Placement is 70% end-of-grade standardized test score, 30% teacher recommendation. My son Liam’s test scores always land 3 to 5 points below the cut-off. His 9th grade teacher wrote a strong rec last year, he ended up third on the waitlist and never got a spot. This year, same cut-off, same result.
The counselor leaned forward, her pen tapping the sheet. “I know you know how this works. We just don’t have enough room for everyone who’s close. We have to prioritize kids who already did pre-AP last year.” I nodded, because I do know. I’ve said almost exactly this line to other parents at my own school. But it still felt like a punch to the gut when it was my kid.
I drove to the high school parking lot to meet him after cross country practice. He leaned against the back of my SUV, his uniform still sweaty, scrolling through TikTok about new Minecraft updates. When I told him the news, he shrugged. “Okay, cool. Less homework before practice. That’s fine.”
I drove home staring at the road, that knot still tight in my stomach. I know AP placement isn’t a measure of how smart your kid is. I see it every year at my school: the kid who writes haunting poetry but freezes during multiple choice, the quiet kid who contributes great insights in class but tests badly, who all end up bumped from AP classes because of one test score on one bad day. But when it’s your own, that old voice creeps in: Am I letting him fall behind? Will this ruin his chances at the colleges he wants?
I’ve talked a dozen parents through this exact situation, so I pulled out the same steps I tell them, this time doing them for my own kid. First, I emailed Liam’s regular English teacher the next day. I didn’t ask her to bump him up; I knew she already had 32 kids in her class, that wouldn’t be fair to anyone. Instead, I asked if she’d be open to letting Liam do AP-level writing assignments on the side, if he wanted. She wrote back an hour later saying she loved that idea, she always has extra AP prompts she doesn’t get to use, and she’d grade his essays the same way College Board AP readers do. That’s a concrete thing any parent can do: most teachers are thrilled when a kid wants extra challenge, and it doesn’t require fighting administrators or rearranging a whole schedule.
Second, I pulled up the College Board website and showed Liam the self-study option. Most people don’t realize you don’t have to take the AP class to take the AP exam. College Board has all past exams free on their website, and Khan Academy has free full study guides for almost every AP test. I told him if he wanted to take the exam in May to get college credit, we could work out a study schedule that fit around cross country and his writing. No pressure either way. That’s another straightforward option most families don’t consider when placement doesn’t go their way.
Third, instead of pushing him to be upset or to fight for a spot, I asked him one specific question: “What do you actually want out of this year?” Not “don’t you want to be challenged?” Not “aren’t you mad they passed you over?” Just what do you want. He thought about it for a minute, sitting at the kitchen table eating a granola bar, then said he likes having time after practice to work on the space pirate novel he’s writing, and he doesn’t mind going slower in English if it means he can do that. He said he might think about self-studying for the exam next semester, but he doesn’t want to decide right now. That’s fine.
I remember last year, when he got passed over the first time, I spent a whole week emailing administrators, asking for a spot, stressing out about it at night. He ended up getting a B+ in regular 9th grade English, and he wrote a short story for that class that won the school’s annual creative writing award. All that stress I had was for nothing.
It’s November now, halfway through the first semester. Liam’s got an A in his English class, and his teacher already shared one of his personal essays with the whole department. He runs cross country every afternoon, and he’s up to page 87 of his novel. Last week he mentioned he might start looking at the AP Lang study materials after the regional meet next month. He hasn’t decided for sure.
I still catch myself sometimes, scrolling college admission pages late at night, wondering if this will matter in two years when he applies. I don’t have a neat, happy ending where we fought the system and got him the spot he supposedly wanted. But right now, it’s working. He’s challenged in the ways that matter to him, and he has time for the things he cares about. That’s more than a lot of kids crammed into overstuffed AP classes can say right now.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » When Your Child Is Passed Over Again for an AP Position: What I Learned As A Teacher And Mom