What To Do If You Regret Doing Two Degrees At Once From Different Universities
Last Sunday, I was hauling old cardboard boxes down from the attic to clear out space for my niece’s summer visit, and one of the heaviest boxes held two things: a set of chipped vintage dinner plates my mom gave me when I got married, and two faded diploma frames, both dated 2006. One is from the public state university I started at, the other from the small private college 45 minutes downstate, where I earned a second degree at the same time. I ran my thumb over the yellowed edge of the second diploma, cold coffee sweating into the wooden patio table next to me, and realized I’ve never said it out loud: I regret this choice. And if you’re sitting where I sat 18 years ago, overwhelmed, kicking yourself for signing up for two programs at once, I get it.
Why did I do it? I was 19, a straight-A high school student who’d bought into the idea that more credentials equals more success. My first university didn’t offer the combination I wanted—communications and history—so when an advisor at the nearby private college told me I could transfer 30 credits and finish a history degree there in two years while I finished my communications degree at State, it sounded like a steal. My parents were proud, I posted about it on my early Facebook profile, and I thought I’d be way more hireable than every other kid graduating the same year.
The first semester wasn’t too bad. I had one night class a week at the private college, and my workload balanced out enough that I still made it to intramural soccer games and my part-time job at the campus coffee shop. By the second year, though, overlapping deadlines turned into a constant game of whack-a-mole. I missed my grandma’s 80th birthday because I had a midterm at the private college that fell on the same weekend. I pulled three all-nighters in a row the week before graduation, turning in my communications capstone two hours late because I’d been editing my history thesis that whole week. I stopped calling my high school best friend, I stopped going to the soccer games I loved, and the only thing I could think about from minute to minute was checking my calendar to see what I was missing next.
After graduation, I got the first marketing job I applied for at a small nonprofit, and no hiring manager ever asked me about the second degree. I’ve had five jobs in 18 years, and I’ve never once used the history degree I pushed so hard to finish. I paid off an extra $11,000 in student loans for that degree, and I didn’t make my last payment until I was 32, five years after I would have if I’d just stuck with one. That’s the core of the regret, honestly—all that stress, all that lost time with people I loved, all that money, for a piece of paper that’s been sitting in a box in my attic for 15 years.
If you’re currently in this spot, juggling two degrees from two schools and already regretting it, let’s cut past the generic motivation and get to what actually helps. First, pull up your remaining degree requirements right now, and highlight every requirement for the degree you actually care about for work or for fun. Cross out everything that doesn’t serve that top priority. I wasted so much time trying to get straight A’s in both degrees, when I could have put 80% of my effort into the one I wanted, and just focused on getting a passing grade in the other to cross the finish line. If you can drop one without losing too much money or time, do it. I thought dropping would be a failure back when I was your age, but I’d have been way better off dropping after the first year than pushing through just to prove I could. If you can’t drop, email both of your advisors today and ask if you can stretch the lower-priority degree out an extra semester or year. Most schools let you take a semester off without losing your spot, and taking it slower doesn’t make you less successful. I didn’t even know that was an option when I was in school, and that’s the biggest mistake I made.
For parents or caregivers reading this whose kid has come to them saying they regret overcommitting to two degrees, don’t lead with “you should have thought about this before.” That doesn’t fix anything. Instead, ask them one specific question: “If you could only finish one, which one would it be?” Then sit down with them and call the financial aid and advising offices together. A lot of kids keep pushing through because they’re embarrassed to admit they overdid it, and they don’t know what options exist for reducing their workload or pausing a program. My nephew came to me last month, saying he wanted to do a business degree at his in-person university and a computer science degree online at another school to boost his hiring chances after graduation. We walked through this with him, and he decided to start with a computer science minor first, then get the full degree part time after he graduates if he still wants it. That takes all the unnecessary pressure off right now.
I still haven’t hung that second diploma up. Some days I think about pulling it out and recycling the paper, reusing the frame for my kid’s high school soccer photo, but I haven’t gotten around to it. It’s not that this choice ruined my life—I’m happy, I have a good job, a good family. I just wish someone had told me 18 years ago that more isn’t always better, and that it’s okay to slow down or change course mid-stream. Right now, my nephew’s plan is working for him, and that’s enough for me. I don’t have a fancy, inspirational ending to give you, but I can tell you this: you don’t have to power through a bad choice just because you made it. That’s the first, and most important, thing I wish I’d known.
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