Should I Introduce My Kid to Club Volleyball? What I Learned From Our First Season
6:30 a.m. last October, I stood by our front door holding Lila’s scuffed volleyball and my lukewarm coffee, watching my 12-year-old cross-legged on the kitchen linoleum picking strawberry Pop-Tart crumbs out of her neon socks. “I don’t want to go,” she said, not looking up. “Everyone at tryouts already knows how to spike. I can barely get my serve over the net.”
She’d finished her first season of rec volleyball through the city park district that summer, and her coach had pulled me aside after the final game to mention local club volleyball tryouts were coming up. I’d heard all the horror stories: parents screaming at refs from the stands, $3,000 season fees, 12-year-olds practicing four nights a week and skipping family holidays for tournaments. I went home and stared at the club website for three weeks before I clicked “register” for the tryout, mostly because Lila had been asking every night after dinner if she could practice serving in the driveway again.
The gym was in a strip mall between a laundromat and a dollar store, the parking lot still dewy when we pulled up. I walked her in, wrote my name on a sticky note, and sat down on a folding chair in the parent waiting area along with 20 other parents. No one was pacing or yelling at their kid to warm up early. One mom was folding laundry, a dad was watching a baseball game on his phone with the sound off, a third grade teacher was grading math tests. I pulled out my book and waited.
Two hours later, Lila came out, her hair soaked through with sweat, a smudge of gym chalk on her left cheek, and a neon rubber wristband the club gave out to everyone who tried out. “I only missed four serves,” she said. “Can we get a blue raspberry slushie on the way home?” I didn’t even care if she made the team at that point.
A week later, the club called: she’d made the 12U developmental B team. It wasn’t the top competitive team, which was exactly what I wanted.
Practices were twice a week for an hour and a half after school, and tournaments one weekend a month, mostly within an hour’s drive of our house. I was worried we’d never get homework done, that we’d never have another lazy Sunday again, but something weird happened. Lila started packing her math and reading homework in her volleyball bag the night before practice, and she’d work on it in the car on the way to tournaments. If we had a family birthday on a practice day, the coach just said “tell her to have fun, we’ll see her next week” no penalty, no guilt. I’d been braced for endless rules and stress, and it was just… low key.
In the season’s final tournament, we were down match point in the quarterfinals. Lila got a clean kill off a bad pass from the other team, then missed an easy block on the next play, and they lost. She came off the court crying, shoulders hunched, and I stood up ready to grab her jacket and head out for ice cream to commiserate. Before I could get to her, the team captain, a 13-year-old with a pink streak in her hair, put her arm around Lila’s shoulders and said “That was my bad, I should have shifted left, you had the middle covered. We’ll get ‘em next time.” The whole team huddled up, tapped her on the back, and they all went to get snacks together. I sat back down. That moment was better than any win I could have imagined.
Now, when other parents ask me if they should introduce their kid to club volleyball, I don’t give a generic yes or no. I share the small, concrete things I picked up along the way that made this work for us.
First, don’t start by looking at the elite teams. Almost every local club has developmental teams for kids who are new to the sport, still learning the basics. These teams practice less, play closer to home, and cost a fraction of the price of the top national teams. I almost missed the “new to club” tab on the club website the first time I looked, so if you’re browsing, scroll all the way to the bottom, don’t just stop at the “competitive teams” section that’s front and center.
Second, before you commit, ask the coach three specific questions: How much playing time does every player get on this team? What’s your policy for missing practice for school events or family plans? How do you handle mistakes during games? For the developmental team we joined, every kid plays at least half of every set, no exceptions. That’s what sold me, because I didn’t want Lila sitting on the bench for three months just watching.
Third, don’t feel like you have to buy all the fancy gear right away. A lot of clubs include the team jersey and practice shirt in your registration fee. Kneepads just need to fit, they don’t have to be the brand name ones that all the top players use. Lila uses a pair I got at Target for $12, and no one has said a word. The only extra gear we bought was a $15 team water bottle because Lila wanted to match her teammates.
I used to think club volleyball was only for kids who were planning to get a college scholarship, kids who eat sleep and breathe volleyball. I thought it would suck all the fun out of the sport for a kid who just liked hitting the ball around with her friends. What I found is that it’s whatever you make of it, if you start small.
Lila hasn’t decided if she’s playing again next year. She keeps talking about joining the after-school art club too, and we’re figuring out how that would work. If she quits tomorrow, that’s fine. Last week, she asked if her 11-year-old cousin, who’s never played any organized sports, could come to the club’s open gym for new kids this weekend. We’re picking her up at 9 a.m., I’m bringing extra Gatorade and a pack of fruit snacks. It’s too early to tell if she’ll like it, but that’s the point, right? You don’t have to commit to four years of tournaments to let your kid try something new.
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