Practical Tips for Part-Time Learning When You Work Full-Time As A Parent
Last Tuesday, I was wiping crumbs off the kitchen table at 9:12 PM, my 7-year-old’s half-eaten Goldfish cracker stuck to the leg of my sweatpants, and I was staring at a blank laptop screen. I’d just gotten my 3-year-old down with a cold, finished a last-minute work report that my boss needed for the next morning, and my 12-page reading assignment for the part-time early childhood education course I’m taking died with my laptop— I’d forgotten to plug it in after answering emails all day. I sat there for a full minute, finger hovering over the “drop course” button on the university website, wondering why I thought I could fit one more thing into my already full days.
I’m a full-time paraeducator at my kids’ elementary school, and I started this course to work toward my teaching license, a goal I’ve had since before my oldest was born. A few months in, I’ve messed up more than I’ve gotten right, but I’ve also picked up a few small things that actually work, unlike all the generic advice you see online about “time management.” I talked to three other working parents doing part-time learning while holding down full-time jobs, and all of us had similar stories of the big, flashy plans failing, and small, boring changes making all the difference.
The first thing we all agreed on: don’t carve out big new blocks of time. Steal 10-minute chunks from the gaps you already have. When I started, I blocked off two full hours every night after the kids went to bed, just like every blog post said to. I quit that after two weeks, because by 8:30 PM I can barely focus on a text thread, let alone a textbook chapter about child development. Now I keep my course notebook and flashcards in my work bag. I get to school 15 minutes early every day to set up my classroom, so I spend the first 10 minutes before students arrive quizzing myself on teaching terminology. I eat at my desk most days, so I do 15 minutes of reading during lunch. On my drive home, I listen to the course audio recording instead of the radio. One dad I know who’s finishing a part-time business degree does his flashcards while he waits for his 10-year-old’s soccer practice to end, instead of scrolling on the sidelines like everyone else. That adds up to almost three hours a week of learning before we even touch coursework on the weekend. No extra evening time required, most weeks.
Next, involve your family instead of hiding your learning. I used to think I had to do all my coursework when the kids were asleep or out of the house, because I didn’t want to take time away from them. Then one Sunday, my oldest asked why I was always locked in the bedroom after dinner, and I realized I was modeling that grown-up learning is something that takes you away from the people you love, instead of something you can do together. Now we do “homework hour” every Sunday afternoon. He sits at the kitchen table next to me and does his extra credit drawing or builds with Legos, my 3-year-old scribbles on construction paper, and I do my reading. They get a special snack (the neon-colored gummy bears I only pull out for special occasions) and I get an hour of focused work where everyone’s happy. We still do bedtime stories and our nightly walk after dinner, so I’m not taking any family time away that we’d otherwise spend together.
Cut one low-value habit, not all the fun stuff. Everyone says you have to give up everything you enjoy to fit in learning, but that’s a lie that leads to burnout. When I started, I cut out my weekly Saturday hike with my neighbor and my kids to do coursework, and I was so grumpy and tired that I didn’t get any good work done anyway, and I missed my time outside. Now I just cut the one thing I wasn’t even enjoying: I used to scroll Instagram for 25 minutes while I waited for my coffee to brew in the morning, and I half-watched an hour of Netflix while I wound down at night. I cut that down to 20 minutes of Netflix a night, and I do 10 minutes of flashcards while my coffee brews. I still get my wind-down time, I still get my hike, I just stopped wasting the time I was already wasting anyway.
Give yourself permission to skip a week if you need it. Last month, my youngest had strep throat, I had three big back-to-back work events, and I didn’t touch my coursework for 10 days. I used to think that meant I’d failed, that I’d never catch up, so I might as well quit. But most part-time programs are built for working people— I emailed my professor two days before my assignment was due, told her what was going on, and she gave me an extra week no questions asked. None of the other parents I talked to finish every assignment right on the exact deadline. Most of us extend a deadline once or twice a semester, and that’s fine. It doesn’t mean you’re not committed, it means you’re a person with a full life.
That Tuesday, after my laptop died, I closed the computer, poured myself that cup of tea my husband brought me, and went to bed. I did the 12-page reading split over three 10-minute chunks the next day at work, and turned it in a day late, no harm done. I’m still on track to finish in two years, though I wouldn’t be surprised if I need an extra semester to get there. Some weeks I only get an hour of learning done total, and some weeks I get five. It’s messy, and it’s slow, but it’s working, for now. I don’t have it all figured out yet, but these small changes have kept me from quitting so far, and that’s enough.
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