Age-Appropriate Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: What I’ve Learned As A Mom
I was wiping chocolate ice cream off my 5-year-old Lila’s cheek last month, standing by the grocery store cart corral after preschool pickup, when she leaned in and asked, “Why does Jax say Mia’s skin is too dark? Is that bad?” Lila’s sparkly pink rain boots were splashing in a leftover puddle, and she didn’t even stop moving when she asked it, just curious, no big drama, just a kid bringing home what she’d heard on the playground.
I froze. I’d been meaning to get better at talking about race with her, but I’d put it off because I couldn’t find anything that felt right for her age. When I first Googled “anti-racism resources for 5 year olds,” what came up was mostly books for middle schoolers, dense discussion guides for high school teachers, or listicles that promised to “raise an anti-racist kid” but all the recommendations were way too abstract for a kid who still can’t remember to put her socks on in the morning. I grabbed a handful of library books on my next trip, one that walked through the whole history of segregation and civil rights, and I tried to read it that night before bed. Halfway through, Lila sat up straight, her eyes wide, and asked if that meant Mia couldn’t come to our house for pizza night anymore. I closed the book immediately, turned on her unicorn night light, and realized I’d gone about this all wrong.
Five year olds think in concrete terms, not abstract concepts. They don’t need to unpack systemic inequality yet; they can barely wrap their head around why we have to wait for a table at a restaurant. They notice what’s right in front of them: hair texture, skin color, the different snacks their friend brings to school. So anti-racism resources for this age don’t need to cover every hard part of history right now. They just need to normalize difference, answer questions honestly, and give kids space to talk about what they see without making them feel like they’re bad for asking. That’s the big thing I learned after months of looking for the right resources.
The first set of resources that actually worked were simple, short picture books. I’d seen a hundred lists that recommended heavy, thoughtful books for older kids, but the ones that stuck with Lila are the ones that don’t feel like lessons at all. The Skin You Live In is my top pick. It’s short, rhymes, uses comparisons to things kids already know – different flavors of ice cream, different colors of crayons – to talk about how skin color is just one thing that makes you you. No scary stories, no big words. Lila asks to read it once a week, and after the first time she pointed out that her skin is the color of my peach ice cream and Mia’s is the color of the caramel dip we get for apples, and that was that. The other constant hit is Hair Love, the story of a dad learning to do his Black daughter’s hair. Lila obsesses over hair right now – she’s always asking to braid mine, to redo Mia’s braids at recess – so she thinks the story is the coolest thing ever. It’s just a story about loving your kid, not a lecture, which makes it stick way more than any preachy book I tried first.
It’s not all books, though. I found a free set of printable play puzzles on Teachers Pay Teachers, made by a preschool teacher, that show kids of all different backgrounds doing everyday things – swinging, baking cookies, riding bikes. I printed them out at the library for 10 cents a page, had them laminated at the dollar store for $2, and Lila does them after snack every day. I also swapped out her old set of Little People figures for the diverse set Fisher-Price released a few years back. It has different skin tones, different hair textures, even a figure with a cochlear implant. She doesn’t think anything of it, just plays with them, but when she lines them up for a parade, I’ll say something casual like “I love that this one has the same twist braids as Mia” – just naming difference like it’s normal, nothing to avoid. That’s a small environmental shift that takes 10 minutes and costs $10, and it does more than any big speech I could give.
For days when I need a quick, low-effort win, YouTube has tons of free, kid-friendly content. The kids’ channel Super Simple Songs has a 2-minute song called “Different is Good” that shows kids of all abilities, races, and family types playing together. Lila requests it every time we get in the car, and she sings it under her breath while she colors. That’s it – no big lesson, just a catchy song that normalizes difference before she has a chance to pick up any bad ideas from other kids.
A lot of parents I talk to say they don’t want to point out race because they think being “colorblind” is better. But Lila already noticed Mia’s skin and her hair before I ever said anything. If I pretend I don’t see it, that just tells her it’s a topic she can’t ask me about, which means she’ll hold onto whatever wrong things she hears on the playground instead of coming to me. The best resource I have isn’t even a book or a toy, it’s just answering her questions simply when she asks. When she asked if it was bad that Jax said Mia’s skin was too dark, I didn’t give a big speech. I just said “No, it wasn’t kind. Everyone’s skin is exactly the right color for them. Tomorrow at preschool, you can tell Mia you love her braids, okay?” That’s all she needed.
I still don’t do this perfectly. Last week, Lila was coloring in an old coloring book she got for her birthday, and she looked up and said “None of these princesses have brown curly hair like Mia. Why?” I fumbled for a minute, didn’t have a great answer, just said “You’re right, that’s silly. Let’s order a new coloring book with all kinds of princesses, okay.” It came last week, and she’s already colored three princesses with curly brown hair. I’m still looking for new resources sometimes, still mess up, still don’t push more than Lila can handle. I think that’s okay. So far, the small, simple stuff is working. I’ll keep showing up, one ice cream question and one picture book at a time.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Age-Appropriate Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: What I’ve Learned As A Mom