What You Must Do To Ensure A Decent College Application: Practical Advice From A High School Counselor
The lanyard around Maria’s neck still had her hospital ID badge clipped to it, the plastic smudged with hand sanitizer, when she leaned across my desk last Tuesday and asked the question I hear at least three times a week: “What must I do to ensure a decent college application for my son?” Her son Leo slouched in the chair next to her, picking at a frayed thread on his black hoodie, his soccer cleats propped against the leg of my couch. They’d rushed straight from practice, and Maria had barely had time to grab a granola bar from the vending machine on the way in.
Maria ticked off the list she’d compiled from Facebook parenting groups and college chat rooms: 12 AP classes, a summer volunteer trip abroad, leadership roles in at least three clubs, 100 hours of community service. She was panicking because Leo only takes three APs, his only extracurricular is varsity soccer, and he works 15 hours a week at the local hardware store on Main Street. She wanted him to quit the job to attend a $3,000 pre-engineering summer program at a private college out of state, because everyone told her it would make his application stand out.
I thought of Mia, a senior from last year whose dad made her quit her part-time job at the town animal shelter to do that exact same program. She hated every minute of it, spent the whole six weeks calling me stressed about how much work she had, and her grades slipped first semester senior year. Her essay about the program was generic, full of lines she’d copied from the program’s website, and she didn’t get into any of the private engineering schools she applied to. She’s now at our local community college finishing her prereqs, which is a fine path, but she didn’t need to put herself through six months of unnecessary stress for an application that didn’t end up working the way anyone planned.
I leaned back in my chair and told Maria and Leo what I tell everyone who asks this question: there are only four non-negotiable things you have to do to get a decent college application, and none of them require spending thousands of dollars or packing your kid’s schedule so full they burn out.
First, mark every single deadline three months in advance, and put them on a calendar your kid actually checks, not just you. Set a 10-minute recurring check-in every Sunday—no nagging, just pull up the calendar and ask if anything is coming up that they need help with. Last year, a senior missed the early action deadline for his in-state engineering program because his mom kept all the deadlines in her own phone, and she forgot to remind him the week she was out of town on a work trip. That’s the kind of avoidable mistake that can derail even the strongest application. It takes five minutes to set up, and it’s the simplest thing you can do to keep everything on track.
Second, stick to 2-3 things your kid actually cares about, don’t stuff the activities list with random experiences just to impress admissions officers. I told Maria that Leo’s year and a half at the hardware store is way more valuable than that summer program he doesn’t even want to attend. He shows up every weekend, keeps track of inventory, helps customers plan their backyard projects—That shows responsibility, work ethic, and it’s real. Since he wants to study construction management (he mumbled that he’s liked building things since he was little, fixing up old bikes with his grandpa), that job is directly relevant. No fancy program can beat that kind of real-world experience when it comes to making an application feel authentic.
Third, proofread the application and essay, but don’t rewrite it. The most you should do as a parent is read the essay out loud with your kid to catch typos and awkward phrasing, then ask one question: “Does this sound like you?” If it doesn’t, they change it, not you. I’ve read dozens of essays that sound like a middle-aged parent, not a 17-year-old kid, and admissions officers can spot that instantly. Last year, a dad rewrote his kid’s entire essay about overcoming a knee injury playing soccer, and the kid had never even torn his ACL—the dad had when he was in college. The admissions officer called me to check, and the application got put on the reject pile immediately, no exceptions. A messy, honest essay that sounds like your kid is way better than a perfectly polished essay that sounds like you.
Fourth, don’t inflate what your kid has done. If they were just a member of the environmental club for two years, that’s fine—put that down. Don’t write “co-president” if they never held a leadership role. Small, honest entries are way better than exaggerated claims that get caught. Admissions officers read thousands of applications a year, they can spot a lie the second they read it.
Maria relaxed by the end of the meeting, admitting she’d just been scared of messing up Leo’s shot because she didn’t grow up going to college in this country and didn’t know the unwritten rules. Leo pulled out his phone to show me a photo of the wheelchair ramp he helped an older couple build for their 5-year-old grandson a few months prior—he’d reworked their lumber cut list to fit their $500 budget, and scrounged scrap lumber from the back of the store to cut costs. That’s already his essay idea.
Leo and Maria left an hour later, the recurring Sunday check-in already added to both their calendars, and Leo’s essay idea jotted down in his notebook. We won’t hear back from colleges for another eight months, and we don’t know if he’ll get into his first-choice in-state construction management program. But whatever happens, his application will be decent. It will be his. That’s the most any of us can guarantee, anyway.
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