Why Does My Kid Say ‘Like’ All The Time? Is This Normal?
I was pulling out of the middle school parking lot last month, soccer cleats rolling around the backseat and half a bag of cheddar Goldfish spilled between the seats, when my 12-year-old Lila launched into her story about the surprise math quiz. “So like, Mr. Henderson like put the review packet on the desk and like no one like knew it was actually counted for a grade?” she said, gesturing so wildly her ponytail flew. “And like, I studied for the test that’s next week so I like didn’t even do the review right?”
By the time she finished, I’d counted 17 “likes” in three minutes. My mom had brought it up just two days before, over Sunday dinner. “Does she really need to say that word every other sentence?” she’d asked, leaning across the table. “It sounds so scatterbrained. Is that… normal? Is something going on?”
That’s the quiet question so many of us carry, isn’t it? Every tiny quirk, every new speech pattern, every shift in behavior leads back to that unspoken question: Is this like ok? Or like normal?
I texted my friend Mia, who’s a speech-language pathologist at Lila’s school, and we met for coffee after her shift that week. She showed up with a smudge of blueberry muffin on her sweatshirt and a dinosaur keychain hanging off her lanyard from a student who’d given it to her that morning. I told her about Lila’s “like” habit, and my mom’s worry, and she laughed before I even finished.
“If I had a dollar for every parent who asked me this question,” she said, “I’d be able to buy new speech therapy games for the whole department. It’s almost always normal.”
She explained that for preteens and early teens, filler words like “like” aren’t a bad habit picked up from social media or bad friends—they’re developmental. When kids this age are talking through messy, new feelings or navigating awkward social stories, “like” gives them a split second to organize their thoughts before they speak. It’s less a filler and more a buffer, especially when they’re not 100% sure how they feel about what they’re saying yet. It’s also a social cue: among their peers, using the same casual language signals they fit in, that they’re not trying to be overly formal or stand out from the group.
I thought about that later, when Lila spent 20 minutes that night walking me through the backstory of her new Minecraft original character. She barely said “like” once the whole time—she knew that story backwards, she was excited, she didn’t need that buffer. It only comes out when she’s wading through something uncertain, I realized.
Mia did give me concrete signs to know when it might be something to check into, though. It’s a concern if the filler is so frequent that other people can’t follow what your kid is saying, or if your kid avoids talking entirely because they’re nervous about stumbling over words. If they still use that much filler when they’re talking about something they know super well, or when they’re relaxed at home, that’s when it makes sense to check in with a professional. Otherwise, it’s just a phase.
The biggest mistake parents make, she said, is correcting their kid every time they say “like.” I admitted I’d done that a handful of times, gently interrupting to joke about how many likes she’d used. Lila had just rolled her eyes and shut down, cutting her story short. Mia was right: that correction doesn’t fix the habit, it just makes kids self-conscious about talking to you. What’s worse, a few likes are way less of a problem than your kid stopping to share their day with you because they’re worried you’ll judge how they’re saying it.
Instead, she gave me two small things to try that don’t feel like a lecture. First, if you want your kid to be more aware of their speech, make it a low-stakes game, not a correction. Next time you’re watching a show or a TikTok together, count the number of times the adults on screen say “like.” You’ll both be shocked how common it is, and it takes all the pressure off your kid. Second, if you’re worried about formal situations—class presentations, summer job interviews, high school entrance talks—only practice those specific situations. Don’t nitpick every day casual speech. After your kid practices their presentation, you can say, “I noticed you filled the pauses with ‘like’ when you were remembering what came next. Next time, just try taking a silent breath instead. It’s no big deal if you forget, but it might help the audience follow you easier.” That’s specific, it only applies when it matters, and it doesn’t make them feel bad for how they talk normally.
I tried that a couple of weeks ago, when Lila had to do a 5-minute presentation on climate activists for social studies. She practiced in front of me, and I counted 22 likes. I just said what Mia told me to say, no big lecture. She got an A on the presentation, and came bounding out to the car that day saying, “Like, I only said like ten times! I counted!” We laughed about it the whole way home.
My mom still raises her eyebrow sometimes when Lila rambles through a story at dinner. I just shrug. I catch myself saying “like” all the time when I’m on work calls with my team, when I’m processing something stressful with my sister, when I’m telling a story I’m still figuring out. It’s not perfect, but it’s normal.
Lila still tells me every messy, awkward, like-filled part of her day. That’s way more important than any perfectly polished sentence. Some phases are just that: phases. Right now, this is working. We’ll see what next year brings.
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