Introducing Kids to Club Volleyball: What Parents Need to Know Before They Try Out
Last October, I found my 12-year-old, Lila, slouched on our living room couch, socks bunched around her ankles, scrolling TikTok after school. Rec soccer had ended two weeks earlier, and she’d been complaining that every weekend felt too empty, that none of her friends were around anymore. When she mumbled that her best friend Mia wanted her to come to open tryouts for the local club volleyball team, I froze. I’d heard all the horror stories: thousands of dollars in fees, parents screaming at refs from the bleachers, 6 a.m. practices that ruin every weekend for a decade. I’d always assumed club sports were for kids who already knew they wanted to play in college, not the kid who still forgets her cleats for rec practice half the time.
I said we could go just for the experience, no pressure to make the team, no pressure to join if she didn’t like it. The tryout was 25 bucks just to walk in the door, which felt steep for an hour and a half of running drills, but I wrote the check. We got stuck behind a school bus on the drive over, arrived 10 minutes late, and Lila’s water bottle leaked all over her hoodie in the car. She walked into the gym red-faced, convinced everyone would notice she’d never played a real game outside of PE.
I sat on the scratchy wooden bleachers with a half-empty cup of gas station coffee, listening to the other parents. One mom told me her daughter was going into her third year on the A team, and they spent almost $3,000 a year including out-of-state tournaments. Another leaned over and said her son was on the developmental team, paid $800 a year, and all their tournaments were within an hour’s drive. No one was yelling, no one was scrolling through college recruiting guides. Most were just sitting, scrolling their phones, waiting for it to end, same as me.
When Lila came out after the tryout, she was grinning, her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat. She said she’d messed up almost every pass, but it was still the most fun she’d had in months. A week later, we got the email: she’d made the 12U B developmental team. I stared at the registration form for two days, not sure what to do. I’d heard too many stories of families getting sucked into a competitive cycle they couldn’t afford or escape. So I did what I wish more parents did: I emailed the coach and asked if we could come watch a full B team practice before signing anything.
We showed up the next week, sat in the back, and I talked to three parents of kids already on the team. I didn’t ask vague questions like “is this a good club.” I asked two specific things: how much extra do you end up paying beyond the registration fee, and how does the coach react when a kid messes up over and over. They told me the only extra costs were new uniforms if your kid outgrew theirs mid-season, and that the coach never yells. He just walks over and shows you how to adjust your stance again. That was enough for me to sign the form.
After three months, the small changes are hard to miss. Lila has always been the kid who quits things the second she’s not immediately good at them. If she lost a board game, she’d storm up to her room and slam the door. If she got a bad grade on a quiz, she’d decide she hated that subject forever. Now, if she has a bad day at school, she burns it off at practice, comes home hungry enough to eat a full plate of pasta for dinner, and does her homework without complaining. Last month, at her first tournament, she missed three serves in a row in the final set, and their team lost by two points. I was waiting by the car ready to hand her a pack of gummy bears and listen to her cry. Instead, she and the whole team begged us to stop for frozen yogurt, and they spent the whole ride home making fun of how badly their serves had gone. No one even mentioned losing.
A lot of parents I talk to still assume club volleyball is only for ultra-competitive kids with big budgets, but that’s not the case anymore. Most local clubs now have low-cost developmental teams built for kids who just want to play a sport with their friends, not get recruited to college. The things I learned along the way are smaller than you’d expect. Don’t buy all the fancy new gear upfront: I got a barely used volleyball and a pair of knee pads from a local parent Facebook group for $15, instead of spending $80 on name-brand new ones. Most clubs will let you borrow gear for the first couple months if you’re not sure your kid will stick around. Always sit in on a full practice before you commit: open tryouts are designed to look good for parents, and you don’t get a sense of the day-to-day vibe until you watch a regular practice. And if cost is a concern, just ask about help: most clubs have sliding-scale spots or need-based scholarships they don’t advertise publicly. I found out our club reserves three free spots a season for families who can’t afford the full fee, just by asking the coach in a short email.
It’s not all perfect. Last week, Lila complained that 8 a.m. practice on Saturday is too early, that she’d rather sleep in and go to the mall with her friends. We miss family dinners half the month because of tournaments, and I’ve had to reschedule my work meetings more than once to get her to practice on time. I don’t know if she’ll want to play next year, or if she’ll stick with it long enough to try out for high school. Right now, though, she comes home every practice talking about inside jokes with her teammates, and she begs me to practice serving with her in the driveway after homework. It’s working for us right now, and that’s enough.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Introducing Kids to Club Volleyball: What Parents Need to Know Before They Try Out