Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: What Actually Works For Young Kids
It was Tuesday, 20 minutes past our usual naptime, and we were still sitting in the pickup line at kindergarten, waiting for the last group of kids to be released. Leo had begged for a frozen lemonade pop from the vending machine by the door, and half of it was already melted down his wrist and onto the car seat. I was scrubbing at the sticky buckle with a wet wipe when he turned to me, pop halfway to his mouth, and said, “Milo told me at recess today that no one wants to play with him because he’s brown. Why would they do that?”
I froze. The wet wipe hung mid-air, sticky lemonade dripped onto my shoe. I mumbled something about that being very not nice, and that everyone should play with everyone, but I knew that wasn’t enough. That night, after I got him to bed, I sat on the couch scrolling through every parenting blog and Pinterest board I could find, searching for age-appropriate anti-racism resources for my 5 year old. What I found was mostly disappointing. Most lists were full of middle-grade novels and dense articles that would go right over Leo’s head, or popular picture books that felt too heavy for a kid who still can’t remember to put his shoes on the correct feet. I checked out one of the most talked-about anti-racism picture books from the library the next day, and by page 10, Leo was asking when we were going to read his dinosaur book instead. He couldn’t wrap his head around why a man couldn’t sit anywhere he wanted on a bus, and the whole lesson was lost.
I texted my friend Sarah, who’s been a kindergarten teacher for 12 years, to vent. She told me I was overcomplicating it. Five year olds don’t need a full history lesson on racism, she said. They’re just starting to notice difference, and all they really need is to learn that difference is okay, that everyone deserves to play, and that being mean to someone because of how they look is wrong. Any resource that works with that developmental sweet spot is a good one. She gave me a few simple recs, and I’ve been testing them out for the past two months.
First, the books that actually held Leo’s attention. The first one she recommended was The Skin You Live In, a short, rhyming picture book that just talks about all the different shades of skin people have, compares them to familiar things like peanut butter, honey, and cream. When I read it to Leo the first night, he immediately started rolling up his sleeve to match his skin to the pages, then mine, then our cat’s paw for some reason. He spent 10 minutes naming the skin colors of all his classmates, pointing out that Milo was the color of milk chocolate. There’s no big sad story, no lecture, just normalizing that everyone looks different, and that’s a good thing. The other book we love is Last Stop on Market Street, which follows a little boy riding the bus with his grandma through the city. It touches on how different people have different lives, and every community has something good to offer. It’s just a story, not a lesson, and Leo asks to read it at least once a week.
Beyond books, the best activity we’ve done is something that requires no special supplies, just the finger paint I already had in the craft closet. Sarah suggested doing a skin tone mixing activity: I poured blobs of brown, white, red, and yellow paint onto a paper plate, and told Leo we could mix our own shades to match all the people we love. He sat at the kitchen table for 45 minutes, dabbing and mixing, painting lopsided faces of all his classmates, our neighbors, and his grandma. When he got a shade that matched Milo’s skin, he held it up and yelled, “Look! I made Milo!” That hands-on activity taught him more about difference and celebration than any book I’ve read him, because he got to create it himself.
I’ve also found that casual screen time resources work really well for 5 year olds, if you pick the right ones. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood has an episode where a new kid named Jodi joins the neighborhood, and everyone learns to welcome her even though she does some things differently. We watched it once after dinner while I cleaned up, and Leo still brings up Jodi when a new kid joins his soccer team. Sesame Street has 2-minute clips on YouTube of Elmo and his friends talking about different skin colors and different families, perfect for watching while you wait for pasta to boil. I even swapped out our set of toy play figures for a cheap set that has different skin tones and hair types, and Leo plays “community” with them every weekend, no fanfare required. It just becomes normal for him that people look different.
Two weeks ago, at the class picnic, I watched Leo run over to Milo, who was standing off by himself watching the other kids play tag. He grabbed Milo’s hand and said, “C’mon, everyone gets to play. All skin colors are good for running.” It was small, but it stuck.
I still mess up sometimes. Last week, I caught myself commenting on how “interesting” a Black actress’s hair was in a magazine, like it was something unusual instead of just hair, and I had to correct myself later when Leo asked about it. I know as he gets older, the questions will get harder, and I’ll have to find new resources that match his growing understanding. I also still get overwhelmed when I see lists of resources that expect me to teach a 5 year old concepts he can’t possibly process yet. But right now, for my 5 year old, the small, simple stuff is working. We don’t do big formal lessons. We just read the right books, mix paint, and remind each other that everyone gets a turn to play. That’s enough for now.
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