My Main Pediatrician Is Someone I’ve Never Met In Person: What Virtual Care Looks Like For Our Family
It’s 2:17 a.m. and my 3-year-old is curled into my side, one small hand clamped around his left ear, sniffling so hard his shoulder shakes. It’s pouring rain, my 6-year-old is asleep down the hall, and the nearest in-person pediatric practice is 25 minutes away. My half-cold coffee sits on the nightstand, and there’s a crushed Goldfish cracker stuck to the corner of my phone screen. Instead of fumbling for my keys and shoving a change of clothes in a diaper bag, I open my telehealth app and send a message to Dr. Rao—my kids’ main pediatrician, who I have never met face to face.
We stumbled into this setup by accident two years ago, when we moved from the city to this small rural town. The only local pediatric group closed their patient waitlist after a provider retired, and the next closest practice had a three-month wait for new patients. I signed up for a virtual pediatric service on a whim, just to have someone to answer questions while we waited for an opening. Three months came and went, and I never bothered to switch.
Most parents I tell this to react with the same confused, slightly concerned furrow of the brow. What about well visits? What about vaccines? How can she check a heartbeat if she’s not in the room? It’s a fair question, and the answer is simpler than most people expect. We split care: a nurse practitioner at our local urgent care does all the hands-on stuff—height and weight checks, vaccine administration, strep tests, any physical assessments that need an in-person touch. She sends all her notes and measurements straight to Dr. Rao, who reviews everything, walks me through developmental screenings, answers any questions I have, and manages all ongoing care. It’s not 100% virtual, but Dr. Rao is the one who knows my kids’ full history, remembers that my daughter is allergic to amoxicillin and my son won’t eat any kind of medicine if it’s flavored cherry, and follows up on every small concern I bring up.
Last spring, my daughter came home from soccer practice with a splotchy red rash across her lower legs. I snapped a few photos in the backyard before we started dinner, sent them to Dr. Rao, and by the time we cleared the plates, she’d replied that it was almost certainly contact dermatitis from the new fertilizer the park district put on the fields. She told me exactly which over-the-counter hydrocortisone to grab, and said to message back if it didn’t clear up in three days. It was gone in two. Compare that to my old in-person pediatrician, where I’d have to wait a week for an appointment, pay a $30 copay, and sit in a waiting room full of sick kids for 45 minutes just to get the exact same answer.
When my daughter started having persistent stomach aches from first grade anxiety last fall, I brought it up during our annual well check follow-up with Dr. Rao. She didn’t rush me out the door in 10 minutes like my old provider would have. She asked a dozen follow-up questions about when the stomach aches happened, what my daughter was saying about school, then sent me a list of three local child therapists who take our insurance, and gave me a specific list of three questions to ask my daughter every day after school instead of the generic “how was school?” It’s a small thing, but she followed up a month later to check in, something no in-person doctor I’ve ever had has done.
It’s not all perfect, of course. Once I needed a health form signed for my daughter’s overnight camp, and it took three days to get it back instead of the same day I would have gotten at an in-person office. If my internet cuts out during a video call, we have to hang up and start over. I still get that twinge of awkwardness when I have to explain the setup to a new school nurse. And it’s not for everyone—if you want to be able to pop into your doctor’s office whenever you want, or you just prefer the comfort of seeing the same person face to face, that makes total sense.
For anyone considering this kind of setup, there are a few small things that have made it work for us that I always pass along. First, don’t try to do 100% of care virtually. Line up a local provider you can use for hands-on needs, and make sure they’re willing to share records with your virtual provider. Most local clinics and urgent cares are used to this now, especially in areas with provider shortages. Second, check your insurance—many plans cover virtual pediatric primary care for a flat monthly fee that’s often cheaper than the copays you’d pay for regular in-person visits. Ours is $10 a month, no extra copays for any messages or visits. Third, keep a few basic cheap supplies at home: a $15 pulse oximeter, a good magnifying glass for rashes, and a digital thermometer that syncs to your phone so you can share readings easily. Fourth, pick one local urgent care to use for all your in-person needs, so all your records stay in one place and you don’t have to repeat your story every time you go.
Last week I was at the playground, and another mom was complaining that she’d been waiting six weeks to get an appointment for her son’s persistent cough, and the urgent care couldn’t give him any follow-up because they don’t have a regular doctor. I told her about our setup, and she looked at me like I’d described something out of a sci-fi movie. I don’t know if this is the future of pediatric care, or just a workaround for our specific situation. We still haven’t had any big emergency that would test the system long-term, and some days I wonder if I’m cutting corners somewhere. But right now, it works. Dr. Rao replies to most messages within a few hours, she remembers my kids, and I don’t have to drag two sleepy, sick kids across town in the middle of the night just to get a simple answer. It’s not the way most people do it, but it’s our way, and so far, it’s better than any in-person setup we’ve ever had.
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