Age-Appropriate Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: What I’ve Found That Actually Works
I was folding striped soccer socks last month when my 5-year-old Lila leaned against the laundry basket and asked, “Why is Zara’s skin brown and mine is peach?” Zara is her best friend from preschool, they spend every Tuesday afternoon chasing each other around the playground and trading goldfish crackers. I’d been expecting a question like this for a while, but I still fumbled my answer: I mumbled something about everyone being different and turned back to the socks. That night, after Lila was in bed, I opened my laptop and started searching for anti-racism resources for 5 year olds, just like I’d planned to eventually.
What came up was a mess. Half the lists were full of books meant for middle schoolers, talking about slavery and segregation in terms a 5 year old can’t wrap their head around. I added one popular book to my cart first, then read the preview and realized it had images of segregated water fountains that would just scare Lila and leave her with more unanswerable questions than anything. The other half of the resources were big multi-week lesson plans for classrooms that felt way too formal for my wiggly 5 year old who can’t sit still for a 10 minute story most days. I started to panic a little – was I messing this up already? Is there nothing that’s actually made for kids this age?
I texted my sister, who’s a preschool teacher with 12 years of experience, and she told me to stop overcomplicating it. 5 year olds don’t need formal lessons, she said. They’re just at the stage where they’re starting to categorize the world, and they notice physical differences first. Anti-racism at 5 is just normalizing difference, not letting unspoken bias grow, that’s it. She sent over a few suggestions, and I’ve tested them over the past month, and most of them have worked way better than any of the heavy resources I found online.
First, the right books. She gave me two titles that I bought, and they’ve fit perfectly with Lila’s level. First is The Skin You Live In. It’s rhyming, it compares skin tones to different things 5 year olds already know – different shades of cookies, coffee, cream. It never gets heavy, it just says all skin is good, and what matters is what you do with it. Lila asks to read it at bedtime once a week, she points out which shade is hers and which is Zara’s, and that’s the end of it. The second is Last Stop on Market Street. It’s a story about a boy riding the bus with his grandma, looking at all the different people on the route, and talking about the beauty in every kind of life. It’s not even labeled as an anti-racism book, which is part of why it works. Lila just likes the part where the man plays the guitar on the bus. She doesn’t need to get the subtext; she’s just absorbing that families and people look different, and all of them belong.
Next, small, low-effort changes to her play space. I went through Lila’s toy bin a week later and noticed every single doll and action figure she had was pale, with straight hair. I didn’t throw all the old ones out – she’s had that blonde princess doll since she was two, it’s her favorite – I just added two new ones next time I ordered toys: one with brown skin and curly braids, one with Black skin and short coily hair. It cost me $15 total, and it took 2 minutes to add them to my cart. Last week when Zara came over, she picked up the braided doll immediately and said “That looks like me!” and Lila grinned and said “I got it just so we could both have dolls that look like us!” That’s the whole lesson right there, no lecture needed.
I also changed how I respond to Lila’s questions out in public. I used to think I was supposed to say “we don’t see color” to be good, but that doesn’t make sense to a 5 year old. She can see color, just like she can see that Zara has curly hair and she has straight. Shushing her or saying we don’t notice just makes her think difference is something bad to talk about. Now, if she points out a difference, I just name it calmly. If she says “That man’s hair is really long,” I say “Yep, it’s beautiful long black hair, isn’t it? Your dad’s hair is short, everyone’s is different.” That’s it. No big speech, just normal. If she asks a question I don’t know how to answer simply, I say that’s a good question we can talk more about when you’re bigger.
For lazy days, Sesame Street has a bunch of 2-3 minute clips on YouTube about different families, different skin colors, and different traditions. I put one on sometimes while I’m stirring pasta or folding that never-ending pile of socks, and Lila watches it while she eats a snack. It’s low effort, no prep, and it’s perfectly age appropriate.
I tried that fancy skin-tone paint matching activity I saw on Pinterest once, and it ended up with acrylic paint all over the kitchen table, Lila got bored after 5 minutes, and I spent 20 minutes scrubbing it off. Fancy activities aren’t needed, it turns out. The small, consistent stuff works way better.
I’m still finding my way with this. Last week Lila saw a photo of a protest in the newspaper and asked why people were yelling, and I told her it’s a long story we’ll get to when she’s older. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t have a perfect curriculum. Some weeks we don’t talk about it at all, some weeks she asks three questions in one day. What I’ve learned is that you don’t need big, heavy resources to talk about anti-racism with a 5 year old. You just need books that meet them where they are, toys that reflect the whole world, and the willingness to answer their small, curious questions instead of looking away. Right now, that’s enough for us. I’m sure I’ll be looking for new resources in a year or two when the questions get harder, and that’s okay.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Age-Appropriate Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: What I’ve Found That Actually Works