When Your English Teacher’s Feedback Feels Like Mind Games
You know that sinking feeling when you hand in an essay you’re pretty sure isn’t your best work? Maybe you rushed through the conclusion or misunderstood the prompt. But when your English teacher returns it with a mix of vague criticism and contradictory praise, something feels… off. Suddenly, you’re questioning not just your writing skills but your grasp on reality itself. Did she really say the thesis was fine during the draft review? Why is she acting like we never discussed structure? If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Let’s unpack why some teachers’ feedback can feel like psychological whiplash—and how to navigate it without losing confidence in your abilities.
What Does Gaslighting Look Like in the Classroom?
Gaslighting—a term borrowed from psychological manipulation tactics—involves making someone doubt their memory, perception, or sanity. In an educational setting, this might unfold subtly. Imagine your teacher praised your class’s rough drafts, calling your arguments “innovative” and your analysis “thoughtful.” Fast-forward to grading day, and those same essays are labeled “disorganized” and “superficial.” When students point out the inconsistency, the teacher brushes it off: “I never said your drafts were perfect. You must have misunderstood.”
Other red flags include:
– Shifting goalposts: “I wanted creativity!” becomes “Why didn’t you follow the rubric?”
– Selective amnesia: “We never covered that formatting style” (spoiler: you did).
– Undermining confidence: “If you’d paid attention, you’d know this was wrong.”
This isn’t about occasional miscommunication. It’s a pattern of dismissiveness that leaves students feeling confused and insecure.
Why Would a Teacher Do This?
Before labeling your teacher a villain, consider the pressures they face. Overworked educators might forget earlier conversations or project their stress onto students. For example, if your class bombed an assignment, a teacher might deflect accountability by blaming the group: “None of you listened to my instructions!” It’s less about malice and more about self-preservation.
That said, some instructors use gaslighting tactics unconsciously to maintain authority. By keeping students off-balance, they avoid challenges to their expertise. Think of the professor who responds to questions with, “That’s a basic concept—you should know this by now.” It’s a power play disguised as high standards.
How to Tell If You’re Overreacting
Gaslighting is serious, but not every confusing interaction qualifies. Ask yourself:
1. Is there evidence? Did your teacher explicitly contradict their earlier feedback, or could it be a misunderstanding?
2. Are others experiencing this? If classmates share your frustration, it’s less likely to be “all in your head.”
3. What’s the pattern? A one-off comment isn’t gaslighting. Look for repeated dismissals of your concerns.
For instance, if your teacher insists they never assigned a page limit—but three peers recall them saying “5-7 pages”—document the discrepancy. Screenshots of syllabi or emails can clarify facts.
Strategies to Regain Your Footing
1. Trust your notes (and your peers). If your teacher denies prior instructions, compare your class notes with friends’. A shared Google Doc or group chat can help verify details.
2. Ask for clarity—in writing. Instead of, “You changed the rules!” try: “Could you clarify the expectations for the next essay? I want to make sure I’m meeting all requirements.” This creates a paper trail while staying respectful.
3. Talk to a neutral third party. A guidance counselor or another teacher can offer perspective. Frame it as seeking advice: “I’m struggling to interpret the feedback. Could you help me understand?”
4. Focus on what you can control. Improve your work independently: visit the writing center, review grading rubrics, or form a study group. Empowerment reduces the gaslighter’s hold.
5. Know when to escalate. If the behavior affects your mental health or grades, involve a parent or administrator. Calmly present your evidence: “Here’s the feedback I received on my draft versus the final grade. Can we discuss the disconnect?”
The Bigger Picture: Why This Matters
Classroom gaslighting erodes trust—not just in teachers, but in your own intellect. Students may stop asking questions, fearing ridicule, or second-guess every academic decision. Over time, this stifles creativity and critical thinking, which are the whole point of English class.
But there’s a silver lining: learning to advocate for yourself is a life skill. By addressing the issue calmly and strategically, you’re practicing resilience. Plus, you might inadvertently help your teacher improve. One student I spoke to recalled confronting their instructor about inconsistent deadlines. The teacher apologized, admitting they’d been overwhelmed, and revised the syllabus.
Final Thoughts
It’s possible your English teacher isn’t gaslighting you intentionally. Burnout, poor communication skills, or unclear expectations can create unintentional chaos. However, your feelings are valid. Whether it’s a misunderstanding or manipulation, you deserve clarity and respect.
Next time feedback feels like a mind game, pause. Breathe. Arm yourself with facts, lean on your peers, and remember: questioning authority doesn’t make you “difficult.” It makes you a critical thinker—exactly what a good English class should nurture.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » When Your English Teacher’s Feedback Feels Like Mind Games