I Got Locked Out of My Favorite New Forum Before I Even Posted Anything
It was 9:15 PM on a Tuesday, I was still sticky from the cherry popsicle I’d dropped half of on the couch an hour earlier, my cat had just knocked over my work laptop charger for the third time that day, and I was desperate for an answer to a very specific problem. I’d picked up a beat-up 2002 Starbucks Halloween mug at Goodwill that weekend for $2, the kind with the little glow-in-the-dark black cat on the side, and the handle was cracked clean through where the previous owner must have dropped it. I didn’t have the heart to throw it away—I’d been looking for one of these mugs for years—so I went searching for a community that knew how to fix it, and found this tiny, sleepy ceramics repair forum that only had a couple thousand members. I signed up in 2 minutes, confirmed my email, typed out my whole question, even added a blurry photo I took in my poorly lit kitchen, and hit post. That’s when the pop-up hit me: In order to post your account must be older than 10 days and have 100 positive karma.
I stared at that screen for so long the remaining popsicle dripped onto my wrist and I didn’t even notice. What do you mean? I just got here. I needed an answer tonight, not 10 days from now. And how the hell am I supposed to get 100 positive karma if I can’t even post anything to get karma from? It felt like that bouncer at the bar you drove 45 minutes to get to who won’t let you in even though you have your ID, just because you’re not on the list. I stared at the rule for a minute, considered making a second account to get around it, then realized I didn’t even have another email address I felt like linking to anything right now. So I just clicked out of the pop-up and started wandering.
The forum let you comment on existing posts even if you couldn’t start new threads, so I just started scrolling. I didn’t mean to, I was just annoyed, but I ended up going back to 2019, just reading old posts people had made. There was a woman who’d spent three months fixing a giant ceramic planter her dad had made her before he died, and every week she posted a little update, even when the first repair cracked and she had to start over. There was a whole 47-page thread arguing about whether it’s tacky to use glitter mica powder on repairs that was way more heated than it had any right to be. Someone posted a photo of their golden retriever curled up on their work bench right after they’d swept all the ceramic shavings off it, and the only comments were 18 people saying “good dog” and that’s it, 18 upvotes. No one argued, no one tried to sell anything, just people agreeing the dog was cute.
I started leaving little comments, just to see what would happen. I told that woman with her dad’s planter that her work looked really beautiful, that it must have meant so much to get it done. I said I thought the glitter mica looked good actually, it’s your repair, do what you want. I told the person with the golden retriever that their dog looked very comfortable. The first upvote I got gave me a little jolt I haven’t felt from internet points since I was 13 collecting Neopets trophies. I got so excited I checked my profile three times in 10 minutes. Then I commented on a post where someone was complaining their epoxy repair turned yellow after six months, and I offhandedly said “I think that happens with the cheap stuff from the dollar store, right?” and woke up the next morning to a downvote. I felt weirdly guilty for, like, an hour. I re-read my comment over and over, wondering if I sounded like a know-it-all jerk, if I’d offended someone. Then I shrugged and ate my breakfast, but I still thought about it off and on all day.
By day seven, I was at 82 karma. I found myself refreshing my profile every night after I brushed my teeth, just checking. My boyfriend asked me what I was doing staring at my phone, and I mumbled “nothing, just forum stuff” and he rolled his eyes and went back to his game. I get it, it’s stupid, I know. But there’s something weirdly addictive about it, when it’s not your whole identity, just a little thing you’re working toward. Yesterday was day nine. I was at 99 karma. One more. I scrolled through all the new posts, left comments on three of them, one about a repair, one about someone’s new kitten, and waited. Nothing for four hours. I went and watered my succulents, folded the laundry that had been sitting on the couch for three days, forgot about it for a bit. When I came back, there it was: one little upvote. 100 even. But I still had 14 hours to wait before my account hit the 10 day mark. I closed the tab, because what else was I going to do?
I get why the rule exists, obviously. Bots spam every open forum with garbage, people make new accounts to start fights or sell fake weight loss pills or whatever, it keeps the place clean. I’ve been on enough unmoderated forums to know how that goes. But it’s still a little silly, right? I got my 100th karma for commenting that someone’s kitten was cute. That’s not some sign I’m a good member of the community, that’s just that someone likes cats. And if I’d had an emergency, if I’d found a cracked vase that was my grandma’s and I needed help fixing it before her birthday the next week, I’d be screwed. That part sucks.
Today’s the 10th day. I’m sitting here with my coffee, my cracked Halloween mug sitting on the table next to me, and I haven’t posted my question yet. I don’t know why. I could do it right now, I’ve got the 10 days, I’ve got the 100 karma, I meet all the requirements. But I’ve been thinking about how I would’ve done it if the rule wasn’t there: I would’ve posted my question, got an answer 20 minutes later, fixed my mug, and never came back. Now I know half the regulars’ pets’ names, I know not to use cheap epoxy even if it’s cheaper, I know that the mod collects the same old Starbucks mugs I do. I learned more just hanging around than I ever would’ve learned from one quick answer.
Maybe I’ll post the question after I finish this coffee. Maybe I’ll wait another day. It’s not like the mug’s going anywhere. (Word count: 1182)
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