I Need 42 More People to Take My Survey and I’m This Close to Begging Random Strangers Online
I’m sitting on my lumpy couch right now, half a cold pepperoni pizza on the coffee table next to me, and my cat just knocked over my half-empty root beer. It’s dripping onto the frayed rug and I don’t even care enough to get up and clean it yet, because I’m staring at my Google Forms dashboard and panicking a little. My intro sociology final project is due next Friday, and the prof said we need a minimum of 100 responses to get a passing grade. Right now? I’m at 58.
I should have planned this better, I know. I left it for the last week, same as every other assignment I’ve ever done. I thought spamming my Instagram story would get me most of the way, right? Wrong. I posted it once, got 20 responses. Posted it again two days later, got 11 more. Posted it a third time this morning, got 3. One of those was my aunt who thought she was entering a grocery gift card raffle, another was my little brother who put “penis” as every short answer. I can’t even exclude his response because that would bring me down another number, so I’m just leaving it. It’s fine, it’s qualitative data, it adds character or whatever.
I’ve drained every corner of my personal life already. My mom sent it to her 12-person book club, all but two responded. My dad sent it to his golf group chat, and I got 18 responses from a bunch of 60-something guys who mostly said they don’t make New Year’s resolutions about screen time anyway, which is actually useful data, so that’s a win. One guy responded three times because he couldn’t tell if it went through, so I got three extra entries from him. I’ll take it.
I tried the in-person approach yesterday, too. Stood by the main student union entrance with my laptop, had a bag of mini Snickers I bought with the last of my grocery budget, offered one to anyone who took the survey. I stood there for an hour and a half, my feet killed me, and I got 12 responses. Most people just looked at me and walked faster, like I was selling something or recruiting for a cult. One girl literally ducked behind a friend when she saw me holding the laptop. One guy took three Snickers, said sure, and then closed the tab halfway through question 5 and walked off. I wanted to yell after him but I just stood there holding the empty bag like an idiot.
I saw someone on the campus Reddit say just pay people on mTurk 50 cents each, it’s easy. Yeah, easy if you have extra money laying around. I spent all my extra cash on tickets for that indie show I went to two weeks ago, the one that got canceled last minute because the lead singer got COVID? I can’t get a refund until next month, so all I have left for the next two weeks is ramen and that half a pizza on my coffee table. I can’t pay people. All I have to offer is a thank you and the knowledge that you helped a random college student not fail a class.
What’s the survey even about, anyway? It’s not anything weird, I promise. It’s just about whether people actually stuck to their 2024 New Year’s screen time resolutions, if they even made one. It’s totally anonymous. I don’t ask for your email or your name or anything, I don’t even make you answer the age question if you don’t want to. I messed up one question, I’ll admit it. I wrote it like a textbook question instead of a normal person: “On a scale of 1 to 5, how much do you agree that societal norms influenced your decision to make a screen time resolution?” I looked at the drop-off rate and a ton of people leave right there. I get it, that sounds stupid. I should have reworded it to “how much did other people’s posts about cutting screen time make you want to do it too” but I can’t edit it now without messing up all the responses I already have, so we’re just stuck with the dumb academic wording. Sorry about that. It’s still quick, I swear. I timed it when I tested it, it’s 6 minutes 47 seconds if you read every question, less if you just click through fast. I won’t judge.
I thought about posting this to the campus Facebook group, but the last time someone posted a survey request there everyone was so mean about it, calling them lazy for not collecting data properly. I’m not lazy, I just… misjudged how many people would actually care enough to click a link. I get it, I’m the same way. If I see a random post asking me to take a survey, I scroll right past. I’ve got my own midterms to study for, my own laundry to do, my own shows to catch up on. Who has 7 minutes to spare for a random stranger?
But I also really don’t want to have to redo this whole project over spring break. I was supposed to go home and see my dog, who I haven’t seen since Christmas, and if I fail this project I have to stay here and do it again. That’s the whole stake, really. It’s not a fancy thesis or anything, it’s just a dumb intro class project, but it’s 40% of our grade, and I need a C to keep my small scholarship. That’s not a sob story, that’s just the truth.
If you’re here scrolling and you’ve got 7 minutes to kill—while you’re waiting for your pasta to boil, while you’re sitting on the bus, while you’re waiting for your friend to finish getting ready to go out—would you mind filling it out? The link is right here. It’s nothing scary, it’s mostly multiple choice, one optional short answer at the end if you feel like rambling.
My cat just jumped on my chest and started purring, so I guess I should wrap this up. I need to go clean the root beer off the rug before it leaves a stain that my landlord will charge me for when I move out. If you take it, thank you. Seriously. If you don’t, that’s okay. I get it. Like I said, I’d probably scroll past this too.
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