The Eternal Classroom Scandal: Why Is It Always Them? (Do You Even Like Teacher’s Pets?)
You know the scene. The teacher poses a tough question. A beat of silence hangs heavy. Then, that hand shoots up. Again. It’s Sarah. Or maybe it’s Kevin. That kid. The one whose textbook is always open, whose eyes track the teacher like a compass points north, whose name seems permanently etched on the “Excellent Work!” board. A collective, nearly audible groan ripples through half the class. Eyes roll. Whispers start: “Ugh, it’s always them.”
The phenomenon of the “teacher’s pet” – the student perceived as receiving preferential treatment, extra attention, or unwarranted praise – is as old as classrooms themselves. And the reaction? Almost universally complex, often simmering with resentment, envy, or plain old annoyance. But what’s really going on here? Is it fair? Do you actually like them, or does the mere sight of them make your teeth grind?
Beyond Sucking Up: What Makes a “Pet”?
Let’s ditch the simplistic “suck-up” label. The reality is often more nuanced. Why does a particular student become the perceived favorite?
1. The Engaged Enthusiast: Some students genuinely love the subject. Their hand shoots up because they’re excited, curious, and eager to participate. They do the extra reading because they want to. To the teacher, this enthusiasm is like oxygen – invigorating and validating. It naturally draws positive reinforcement.
2. The Effort Exhibitor: Other students might not be natural geniuses, but they work incredibly hard. They meticulously complete assignments, ask clarifying questions, and visibly strive. Teachers, constantly battling apathy, see this effort as gold dust. Recognizing it feels essential to encourage persistence.
3. The Smooth Communicator: Some students possess an innate ease in communicating with authority figures. They know how to phrase questions respectfully, offer thoughtful answers without monopolizing, and give clear verbal and non-verbal feedback (nodding, maintaining eye contact). This creates a smoother, more pleasant interaction loop for the teacher.
4. The Unconscious Bias Magnet: This is the uncomfortable truth. Teachers are human. Sometimes, unintentionally, they might resonate more with students who remind them of themselves (younger versions), share similar backgrounds/interests, or exhibit personalities they naturally find easier to connect with. This isn’t malicious, but it can lead to uneven attention.
5. The Confidence King/Queen: Simply put, confident students are often more visible. They’re less afraid of being wrong, so they participate more. More participation means more opportunities for praise and interaction, reinforcing the cycle.
The Classroom Chorus: Why the Resentment?
So, why the near-universal eye-roll when “that” student gets called on again? Why does the whispered “it’s always them” carry such sting?
1. Perceived Unfairness: The core feeling is injustice. Students see one peer getting seemingly constant praise and opportunities (“Why did she get the lead in the play again?”, “How come he always gets called on for the easy questions?”), while their own efforts feel invisible. It erodes the sense of a level playing field.
2. The “Suck-Up” Stereotype: Regardless of the student’s genuine motivation, the label “teacher’s pet” often implies inauthenticity – that their behavior is purely strategic to gain favor, not driven by real interest or effort. This perceived fakeness breeds contempt.
3. Feeling Ignored: When attention seems disproportionately funneled towards one or a few students, others feel sidelined, overlooked, and undervalued. It can make them hesitant to participate, fearing their contribution won’t measure up or won’t be noticed.
4. Social Dynamics: Being labeled a “teacher’s pet” can be social poison. Peers might distance themselves, mock the student, or accuse them of “selling out” the class. This creates pressure to not appear too engaged, hindering genuine participation.
5. The Annoyance Factor: Sometimes, it’s just plain irritating! Hearing the same voice answer every question, seeing the same name on the star chart week after week – it can feel monotonous and frustrating, especially if you’re struggling or feeling disengaged.
Do You Like Them? The Honest Answers Are Complicated.
The simple question “Do you like teacher’s pets?” rarely gets a simple “yes” or “no.”
The Resenters: “No way! It’s not fair. They make the rest of us look bad.” This group feels the injustice most acutely and often harbors strong negative feelings.
The Indifferent: “Meh. Doesn’t really affect me. They do their thing, I do mine.” Some students are focused on their own path and pay little mind.
The Secret Admirers: “Actually… I kinda get it. They work hard/I wish I had their confidence.” Some recognize the effort or skill behind the label, even if they wouldn’t admit it publicly.
The Pragmatists: “They can be useful! If I need to know what the homework really was, or if the teacher was in a bad mood…” Sometimes, proximity to the perceived favorite has strategic advantages.
The Former Pets (Reflecting): “Looking back… I wasn’t trying to be annoying. I just liked the subject. But yeah, I get why it bothered people.” Perspective changes things.
Beyond Sides: What Teachers (and Students) Can Do
The “teacher’s pet” dynamic isn’t great for anyone. It alienates students, potentially isolates the “pet,” and can create blind spots for the teacher. How can we move towards a healthier balance?
For Teachers:
Conscious Scanning: Actively scan the room for different hands. Use strategies like name sticks or digital randomizers to ensure broad participation. Make a point of saying, “Let’s hear from someone we haven’t heard from yet.”
Praise Specifically & Broadly: Instead of generic “Good job!”, praise specific effort or insight (“I really appreciate how you connected that to last week’s topic”). Crucially, actively look for different students demonstrating these qualities to praise.
Value Diverse Strengths: Recognize that engagement looks different. The quiet thinker who writes brilliantly deserves recognition as much as the vocal participant. The student who helps peers, shows perseverance through struggle, or thinks creatively – value these contributions explicitly.
Reflect on Bias: Regularly reflect: Am I calling on certain students more? Whose contributions am I validating most readily? Why? Honest self-reflection is key.
Private Check-ins: If a student is monopolizing, a quiet, respectful conversation about making space for others can be helpful without crushing their enthusiasm.
For Students:
Question Your Assumptions: Is that student really just sucking up? Could they genuinely be interested or hardworking? Sometimes shifting perspective reduces resentment.
Focus on Your Path: Comparing yourself constantly is draining. Focus on your own understanding, effort, and goals. Your journey is unique.
Speak Up (Respectfully): If you feel chronically overlooked, consider talking to the teacher privately. Frame it positively: “I’m really interested in [topic] and sometimes feel I don’t get a chance to participate. Are there ways I can contribute more?”
Don’t Bully the “Pet”: Even if you dislike the dynamic, targeting the student is unfair and unproductive. They might not be aware of the perception or might just be doing what comes naturally.
The Enduring Whisper… And the Hope
The whisper of “it’s always them” will likely echo in classrooms for generations to come. It taps into fundamental human needs for fairness, recognition, and belonging. It highlights the complex social ecosystem that exists within those four walls.
The ideal isn’t a classroom without enthusiastic, high-achieving students – we need them. The ideal is a classroom where many kinds of engagement are visible, valued, and encouraged. Where a teacher’s attention feels like sunshine warming multiple spots, not a spotlight fixed on just one. Where the thought “it’s always them” arises less and less, replaced by a sense that effort, insight, and growth can come from anywhere, and every student has the potential to shine in their own way. That’s a classroom dynamic worth striving for, making the tired groan of “it’s always them” a whisper fading into the past.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » The Eternal Classroom Scandal: Why Is It Always Them