Feeling Unfairly Targeted at School? How to Handle Teacher Issues When You Have an IEP
Hey there. It sounds like you’re going through a really tough situation – feeling like a teacher has been “targeting” you all year, especially when you have an IEP. That’s incredibly stressful and frustrating. On top of dealing with the usual pressures of school, you feel singled out and worried your legally protected support plan isn’t being followed. It’s completely valid to feel upset and confused. But know this: you have rights, and there are concrete steps you can take to address this.
First things first: Trust your feelings, but also seek clarity. It’s important to recognize when something feels wrong. If you consistently feel picked on, unfairly graded, denied your accommodations, or treated differently (and worse) than classmates, your concerns deserve attention. However, try to be as specific as possible about what the teacher is doing or not doing that makes you feel targeted. Is it about your accommodations? The tone they use? How they call on you? Specific examples are powerful.
Your IEP is Your Shield and Your Roadmap
Your Individualized Education Program (IEP) isn’t just paperwork – it’s a binding legal document. Schools must follow it. If you suspect violations, here’s what you need to do, step by step:
1. Get Crystal Clear on Your IEP:
Re-read it thoroughly. Know exactly what accommodations, modifications, services, and goals are listed. What specifically should the teacher be doing differently? Are they ignoring extra time? Not providing notes? Using teaching methods that clash with your needs? Skipping your assistive tech?
Document the Gap: For each incident where you feel targeted or where your IEP isn’t followed, write it down. Include:
Date and Time: When did it happen?
Specific Action: Exactly what did the teacher do or say? (e.g., “Refused to let me use noise-canceling headphones during independent work,” “Made a sarcastic comment about my needing extended time in front of the class,” “Gave me a zero on the quiz because I turned it in after the bell, ignoring my extended time accommodation,” “Never sends me the pre-class notes as required”).
Impact: How did this affect you? (e.g., “Couldn’t concentrate,” “Felt humiliated,” “Failed the quiz,” “Couldn’t participate effectively”).
Witnesses: Was anyone else there who saw or heard?
Keep Everything: Save emails, graded assignments with comments, notes passed back, etc. A dedicated notebook or a notes app on your phone works well.
2. Start the Conversation (The Right Way):
Talk to Your Parents/Guardians: This is crucial. Share your feelings, your specific examples, and your documentation with them immediately. They are your strongest allies and have legal standing to advocate for you.
Request a Meeting: Ask your parents to email the teacher to request a meeting. The email should be polite but clear: “We’d like to schedule a meeting to discuss concerns regarding [Student’s Name]’s experience in your class and the implementation of their IEP accommodations. We are available [offer a few times].” Avoid accusations at this stage. Frame it as seeking understanding and clarification.
Prepare for the Meeting:
Review your documentation together with your parents.
Identify the specific IEP sections you believe are being violated.
Decide what outcome you want (e.g., consistent provision of accommodations, a change in communication style, a plan to catch up on missed work due to violations).
Think about bringing a copy of your IEP to the meeting.
3. The Meeting Itself:
Bring Support: Have at least one parent/guardian with you. You can also ask if your case manager (special education teacher) or guidance counselor can attend – they know your IEP well.
Stay Calm & Focused: It might feel tense. Stick to the facts you documented. Use “I” statements: “I felt singled out when…” or “My IEP states I get X, but on [date] Y happened.”
Explain the Impact: Describe how the actions (or lack of actions) are affecting your learning and well-being.
Listen: Give the teacher a chance to explain their perspective. Sometimes there’s a misunderstanding about the IEP or a logistical hiccup. But don’t let them dismiss your concerns.
Seek Solutions: Work collaboratively to find a path forward. Ask: “What steps will you take to ensure my accommodations are provided consistently?” or “How can we communicate better moving forward?” Get specific agreements.
What If Talking Doesn’t Work?
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the meeting doesn’t resolve the issue, or the teacher continues the problematic behavior. Don’t give up. Escalate:
4. Involve Your IEP Team & School Administration:
Contact Your Case Manager: Explain the situation hasn’t improved after your meeting. They have a responsibility to ensure IEP implementation.
Request an IEP Team Meeting: Your parents can formally request a meeting of your entire IEP team (which includes administrators, related service providers, etc.) to discuss the lack of implementation and the conflict with the teacher. This puts the issue officially on record.
Go to the Principal or Assistant Principal: Your parents should schedule a meeting with the principal. Bring your documentation, a summary of the previous meeting with the teacher, and clearly outline the ongoing issues and IEP violations. Demand a resolution plan.
5. Understand Your Formal Rights:
Procedural Safeguards: When you got your IEP, you (or your parents) should have received a copy of your state’s “Procedural Safeguards.” This document explains your legal rights, including how to file formal complaints.
File a Formal Complaint:
State Complaint: You or your parents can file a complaint directly with your state’s Department of Education (find the specific office for Special Education). They investigate alleged violations of federal special education law (IDEA).
Office for Civil Rights (OCR) Complaint: If the targeting feels like discrimination based on your disability (e.g., bullying, harassment, creating a hostile environment because of your disability), a complaint can be filed with the federal OCR.
Mediation/Due Process: For serious unresolved conflicts about the IEP itself or its implementation, you have the right to request mediation (a facilitated negotiation) or a formal due process hearing (like a legal proceeding).
Important Things to Remember (And Avoid!)
“Targeting” is Serious: While it might feel personal, proving deliberate targeting can be difficult legally. Focus your energy on the measurable actions (or inactions) that violate your IEP. That’s the concrete evidence schools and authorities must address.
Avoid Direct Confrontation: While you should always stand up for yourself respectfully, avoid heated arguments with the teacher in class. Stick to the documentation and chain of command process.
Never Stop Using Your Accommodations: Don’t stop asking for what you need because it feels awkward or you’re worried about the teacher’s reaction. Your accommodations are your right.
Lean on Your Support System: Talk to trusted friends, other supportive teachers, your counselor, or a school social worker. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Self-Care: This is draining. Make sure you’re taking time for things that help you manage stress and feel grounded.
You Are Not Powerless
Feeling targeted by a teacher, especially when your IEP is involved, can make you feel small and helpless. But remember: your IEP is a legally enforceable agreement designed to protect your right to an appropriate education. By understanding it, documenting everything, communicating clearly with your parents, and persistently following the chain of command and formal complaint processes when necessary, you hold significant power to correct the situation.
It takes courage and perseverance, but advocating for yourself is one of the most important skills you can learn. Start with that documentation, talk to your parents today, and take the first step towards getting the fair treatment and support you deserve. You’ve got this.
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