Why Some Kids Grow Up to Have More Children Than Others
Have you ever noticed that some families seem to have generations of large families, while others have fewer children? The question of why certain individuals grow up to have more kids than others is complex, blending biology, psychology, culture, and personal choice. While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, research and observations reveal fascinating patterns that influence how many children people have—and how their upbringing might play a role. Let’s explore the factors that shape these decisions.
—
The Role of Birth Order
Birth order—whether someone is the oldest, middle, or youngest child—often sparks curiosity. Studies suggest that firstborn children tend to adopt more responsible, authority-focused roles within their families. This dynamic might translate into adulthood, where firstborns prioritize stability and career goals before starting families. As a result, they might have fewer children or delay parenthood.
In contrast, younger siblings, who often grow up in less rigid environments, may feel freer to embrace parenthood earlier or have more kids. Middle children, known for their adaptability and negotiation skills, might strike a balance, valuing family closeness but also personal aspirations.
However, these trends aren’t universal. Cultural expectations and individual personalities can override birth order tendencies. For example, a youngest child raised in a family that highly values large families may carry that priority into adulthood, regardless of their sibling position.
—
Gender and Societal Expectations
Gender plays a significant role in family planning. Historically, women have faced greater societal pressure to prioritize motherhood. Even today, girls are often socialized to view caregiving as a central life goal. In some cultures, having multiple children is seen as a marker of success or fulfillment for women, which can influence their decisions.
On the other hand, men’s choices about family size are often tied to economic factors. A father’s ability to provide financially may determine how many children he feels comfortable raising. Interestingly, studies show that men with sisters sometimes develop stronger nurturing instincts, potentially leading them to desire larger families.
But shifts in gender roles are reshaping these patterns. As more women pursue careers and share financial responsibilities, family planning is becoming a collaborative decision. Couples today often weigh practical factors—like income, childcare support, and work-life balance—more heavily than traditional gender norms.
—
The “Large Family” Upbringing Effect
Growing up in a big family can influence future parenting choices. Children from larger households often experience strong sibling bonds and a sense of communal living. For some, this creates a positive association with having many kids. They may equate a bustling home with happiness and want to recreate that environment.
However, the opposite can also occur. Kids who grew up feeling overlooked in crowded households might intentionally choose smaller families to give their children more individual attention. A 2018 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that adults from large families were split nearly evenly between wanting many kids or just one or two. Personal experiences—whether positive or stressful—weigh heavily on these decisions.
—
Cultural and Economic Influences
Culture is a powerful driver of family size. In regions where extended families live together or communities actively support parents, people may feel more confident about having multiple children. For example, in parts of Latin America, Africa, and Asia, multigenerational households and strong social networks make raising kids a shared responsibility, reducing the perceived burden.
Economic stability also plays a role. In wealthier nations, the cost of raising children—education, healthcare, housing—often leads to smaller families. Conversely, in agrarian societies where children contribute to household labor, larger families may be economically advantageous.
Yet cultural norms are evolving. Urbanization and increased access to education have led to declining birth rates globally, even in traditionally high-fertility regions. As people gain more autonomy over family planning, personal preferences increasingly override historical trends.
—
The Psychology of Parenthood
Individual psychology deeply impacts the desire for children. People who value tradition, legacy, or emotional fulfillment through parenting are more likely to have larger families. For some, having children is a way to strengthen relationships, create purpose, or pass on cultural values.
Others prioritize freedom, career goals, or personal hobbies, leading them to have fewer or no children. Childhood experiences also shape these choices. Someone who had a close, supportive relationship with their parents might aspire to replicate that bond with their own kids. Conversely, those who experienced neglect or hardship may approach parenthood more cautiously.
—
The Modern Shift: Quality Over Quantity
Today, many parents focus on “quality over quantity.” With rising awareness of environmental sustainability, some couples limit family size to reduce their ecological footprint. Others invest heavily in their children’s education and well-being, viewing fewer kids as a way to allocate more resources.
This trend is reflected in global data. The average number of children per woman has dropped from 5 in the 1960s to 2.3 in 2023, according to the World Bank. Education, access to contraception, and shifting priorities toward personal fulfillment are driving this change.
—
Final Thoughts
The question of why some people have more children than others has no single answer. Birth order, gender norms, upbringing, culture, economics, and personal values all intertwine to shape decisions about family size. What’s clear is that parenthood is deeply personal—a mix of individual desires, societal influences, and life experiences.
As the world changes, so do our ideas about family. Whether someone chooses to have one child or six, the most important factor is that the decision aligns with their unique vision of a fulfilling life. After all, every family tree grows in its own direction.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Why Some Kids Grow Up to Have More Children Than Others