Understanding Why Your 22-Month-Old Suddenly Hates Bedtime (and How to Help)
Bedtime used to be a smooth, predictable part of your day. You’d read a book, sing a lullaby, and tuck your toddler in without a fuss. But lately, your 22-month-old has transformed into a bedtime rebel—screaming, clinging, or outright refusing to sleep. If this sudden shift has left you exhausted and confused, you’re not alone. Many toddlers go through phases of resisting sleep, and while it can feel overwhelming, there are practical ways to navigate this challenge. Let’s explore why this might be happening and how to restore peace to your evenings.
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Why the Sudden Bedtime Resistance?
At 22 months, toddlers are experiencing rapid physical, emotional, and cognitive growth. What seems like “out of nowhere” defiance often has roots in developmental milestones or changes in their routine. Here are common reasons behind the bedtime battle:
1. Separation Anxiety Peaks
Around this age, separation anxiety often resurfaces. Your toddler now understands object permanence—they know you exist even when you’re not in the room—but they haven’t fully grasped the concept of time. When you leave at bedtime, they might fear you won’t return. This fear can trigger tears, tantrums, or attempts to stall sleep.
2. Growing Independence
Toddlers are learning to assert their autonomy. Phrases like “No!” or “I do it!” become common during the day, and this newfound independence spills into nighttime. Refusing sleep can be their way of testing boundaries or controlling their environment.
3. Nap Transitions
By 22 months, some toddlers are ready to drop from two naps to one. If their daytime sleep schedule is shifting, it might lead to overtiredness or mismatched sleep pressure by bedtime, making it harder for them to settle.
4. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
Toddlers become keen observers. If they hear siblings playing or parents chatting after lights-out, they might resist sleep to stay part of the action.
5. Discomfort or Developmental Leaps
Teething, nightmares, or even mastering new skills (like climbing out of the crib) can disrupt sleep. Physical discomfort or mental overstimulation from a busy day can also play a role.
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Strategies to Ease Bedtime Struggles
While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, these approaches can help address the root causes of bedtime resistance:
1. Create a Consistent, Calming Routine
Toddlers thrive on predictability. A 20- to 30-minute wind-down routine signals that sleep is coming. For example:
– Dim lights and reduce screen time an hour before bed.
– Offer a warm bath, gentle massage, or quiet play (e.g., puzzles or stuffed animals).
– Read a short book or sing a calming song together.
Avoid overstimulating activities like tickling or rough play, which can backfire.
Pro Tip: Let your toddler make small choices during the routine (“Do you want the blue pajamas or the green ones?”) to satisfy their need for control.
2. Address Separation Anxiety with Reassurance
If your child panics when you leave, try these steps:
– Acknowledge their feelings: “I see you’re sad. It’s okay to miss me.”
– Offer a comfort object: A favorite blanket, stuffed animal, or even a shirt that smells like you can provide security.
– Practice brief separations: During the day, leave the room for short periods and return, reinforcing that you always come back.
– Use a gradual exit: Sit near the crib/bed until they fall asleep, moving farther away each night.
Avoid prolonged goodbyes or returning multiple times after leaving—this can unintentionally reward protests.
3. Adjust the Nap Schedule
If your toddler is transitioning from two naps to one, aim for a midday nap (e.g., 12:30–2:30 PM). An overly late nap can push bedtime later, while insufficient daytime sleep can lead to overtired crankiness. Watch for sleepy cues (rubbing eyes, zoning out) to time naps effectively.
4. Set Clear, Loving Boundaries
Toddlers need consistency to feel safe. If they repeatedly get out of bed or call for you, calmly return them to bed with minimal interaction. Say, “It’s time to sleep. I love you,” and leave. This may take repetition, but consistency teaches them bedtime is non-negotiable.
Avoid: Lengthy negotiations or bringing them into your bed (unless you’re comfortable making this a habit).
5. Check for Hidden Discomfort
Rule out physical issues:
– Teething pain: Offer a chilled teether before bed or ask your pediatrician about pain relief.
– Room environment: Ensure the room is cool (68–72°F), dark, and quiet. A white noise machine can mask household noises.
– Pajamas and bedding: Avoid scratchy fabrics or tight clothing.
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When to Seek Help
Most bedtime phases resolve within a few weeks. However, consult a pediatrician if:
– Your child shows signs of illness (fever, coughing).
– Sleep refusal persists for over a month.
– They exhibit extreme fear, night terrors, or breathing issues during sleep.
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Patience Is Key
Remember, this phase is temporary. Your toddler isn’t “being difficult” on purpose—they’re navigating big emotions and changes. By staying calm and consistent, you’ll help them feel secure while reinforcing healthy sleep habits. Celebrate small victories, like a quicker bedtime or fewer protests, and lean on your support system when needed. With time, bedtime can become peaceful again—for both of you.
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