When Motherhood Feels Heavy: Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster
Motherhood is often painted as a glowing, picture-perfect journey—cuddles, milestones, and endless joy. But what happens when reality doesn’t match the Instagram filters? What if you wake up one day and think, “I’m so sick of being a mom”? If this sentiment feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many mothers silently wrestle with exhaustion, resentment, and guilt, afraid to voice their struggles in a world that expects endless maternal devotion. Let’s talk about why this happens and how to find your footing again.
The Invisible Weight of “Should”
Society loves to hand moms a rulebook: You should cherish every moment. You should put your kids first. You should never complain. But these expectations are like carrying a backpack full of bricks. Over time, the weight of “should” can crush even the most resilient parents.
Consider the mental load—the constant planning, organizing, and emotional labor that often falls on mothers. It’s not just about packing lunches or signing permission slips. It’s the invisible work of remembering birthdays, soothing tantrums, and worrying about whether you’re “doing it right.” When this mental marathon becomes relentless, burnout isn’t just possible—it’s inevitable.
Why it matters: Suppressing these feelings only deepens the frustration. Acknowledging that motherhood isn’t always fulfilling isn’t failure—it’s honesty.
When “Mom” Overshadows “You”
Before kids, you had hobbies, friendships, and a sense of self. Now? Your identity might feel reduced to “someone’s mom.” Losing yourself in caregiving is a common but rarely discussed struggle. One mom, Sarah, shared: “I love my kids, but I miss reading novels, going out with friends, even just having time to think my own thoughts.”
This loss of autonomy can breed resentment. You might catch yourself snapping at your kids or fantasizing about escaping to a quiet hotel room for a week (or a month). These emotions don’t mean you’re a bad parent—they mean you’re human.
Try this: Reclaim small pieces of yourself. Start with 10 minutes a day to do something just for you—a walk, a podcast, or even a cup of tea in silence. It’s not selfish; it’s survival.
Breaking the Isolation Cycle
Motherhood can be isolating. Playground small talk rarely delves into the raw, messy parts of parenting. Many moms hide their struggles, fearing judgment. But silence fuels shame, creating a vicious cycle: “No one else feels this way. What’s wrong with me?”
The truth? Many mothers feel trapped in similar emotions. Online communities and parenting groups often reveal a different narrative:
“I yelled at my toddler today and instantly regretted it.”
“I count down the minutes until bedtime.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I was cut out for this.”
What helps: Find your tribe. Whether it’s a local moms’ group or an online forum, connecting with others who “get it” normalizes your feelings. Vulnerability often sparks healing.
Practical Steps to Lighten the Load
Feeling overwhelmed isn’t a life sentence. Here are actionable ways to ease the pressure:
1. Delegate (Yes, Really)
You don’t have to do it all. Involve your partner, older kids, or even a trusted friend. Ask for help with meals, school runs, or bedtime routines. If possible, hire help for tasks like cleaning or laundry. Delegating isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s smart resource management.
2. Redefine “Good Enough”
Perfect parenting is a myth. Frozen pizza for dinner? Fine. Missed a PTA meeting? The world won’t end. Lowering unrealistic standards frees up mental space for what truly matters—connection over perfection.
3. Create Boundaries
It’s okay to say no. Decline extra commitments, set limits on screen time (for you and the kids), and protect your downtime. Boundaries aren’t mean; they’re necessary for sustainability.
4. Talk to a Professional
If guilt or sadness feels overwhelming, therapy can be transformative. A counselor can help you untangle complex emotions and develop coping strategies.
Embracing the Both/And of Motherhood
It’s possible to love your kids deeply and feel exhausted by the demands of parenting. These emotions can coexist. One doesn’t cancel out the other. As author Glennon Doyle writes, “You can be a good mom and still be human—flawed, messy, and real.”
Final Thought: If you’re “sick of being a mom,” pause and ask: What do I need right now? Sometimes the answer is rest. Sometimes it’s a creative outlet. Sometimes it’s permission to admit, “This is really hard.” Whatever it is, give yourself grace. You’re not failing—you’re navigating one of life’s most demanding roles. And you’re allowed to rewrite the script as you go.
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