Why Adults Should Stop Saying “Kids Don’t Talk Like That”
Every generation has its own language quirks. From the jazz-inspired slang of the 1920s to the surfer lingo of the 1960s and the internet-born phrases of today, how we communicate evolves constantly. Yet, adults often find themselves baffled by the way younger generations express themselves. Phrases like “That’s so cringe,” “No cap,” or “I’m screaming” might sound nonsensical to someone over 30, leading to eye rolls and the classic complaint: “Kids don’t talk like that!” But here’s the truth: they absolutely do—and dismissing their language only widens the gap between generations. Let’s explore why this disconnect happens and how adults can bridge it.
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The Myth of “Proper” Language
Language is fluid, not fixed. What we consider “proper” today was once viewed as informal or even rebellious. Shakespeare invented over 1,700 words (including “bedroom” and “eyeball”), and many terms we use daily, like “selfie” or “Google,” didn’t exist a few decades ago. Younger generations aren’t “ruining” language; they’re innovating it.
Teens and young adults create slang to bond with peers, assert independence, or describe experiences that older generations haven’t encountered. For example, terms like “ghosting” or “stan” emerged from digital culture—a world many adults didn’t grow up in. When adults dismiss these words as “not real language,” they’re ignoring a fundamental truth: language adapts to reflect the times.
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Why Adults Struggle to “Get It”
The generational language gap isn’t just about slang—it’s about context. Adults often judge youth language through their own cultural lens. A parent who grew up in the 1980s might hear their teen say, “This math test is giving me the ick,” and think, “We never talked like that!” But that’s the point: the “ick” (a feeling of sudden disgust) perfectly captures a modern emotional shorthand.
Another factor is linguistic nostalgia. Many adults idealize the language of their youth, forgetting how their own parents criticized phrases like “groovy” or “whatever.” This cycle repeats because language evolves faster than our comfort zones. The real issue isn’t how kids talk—it’s that adults often stop trying to learn.
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The Hidden Costs of Dismissing Youth Language
When adults mock or ignore how younger people communicate, it sends a subtle message: “Your experiences aren’t valid.” Imagine a teen sharing a problem using phrases like “I’m so triggered” or “This is low-key exhausting.” If met with, “Stop using made-up words,” they’ll feel unheard. Over time, this erodes trust and openness.
Research shows that teens who feel understood by adults have better mental health outcomes. Conversely, dismissing their language can make them withdraw. As author and linguist John McWhorter notes, “Language is identity.” By rejecting how kids speak, adults unintentionally reject a part of who they are.
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How to Listen Without Judgment
Bridging the communication gap starts with curiosity, not criticism. Here’s how adults can engage without sounding like a confused substitute teacher:
1. Ask, Don’t Assume
Instead of saying, “What does that even mean?” try, “I’ve never heard that phrase—can you explain it?” This invites dialogue rather than shutting it down.
2. Learn the Culture Behind the Words
Slang often reflects broader trends. Terms like “rizz” (charisma) or “mid” (average) aren’t random—they’re tied to social media, music, and Gen Z’s dry humor. Watching a TikTok or listening to a trending podcast can provide context.
3. Share Your Own Linguistic History
Did you say “rad” or “phat” as a teen? Sharing your outdated slang humanizes you and shows that language evolution is natural.
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When “Kids Don’t Talk Like That” Backfires
Criticizing youth language also overlooks its creativity. Younger generations are masters of metaphor and irony. For instance:
– “Touch grass” = Take a break from the internet.
– “It’s giving…” = Describing a vibe (e.g., “It’s giving 90s sitcom”).
– “Delulu” = Delusional, but in a playful, self-aware way.
These phrases aren’t lazy—they’re efficient. They convey complex ideas in seconds, much like emojis or abbreviations (LOL, BRB) did for older generations. Mocking them is like complaining that text messages replaced handwritten letters: progress happens.
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The Secret Superpower of Adaptability
Adults who embrace evolving language gain unexpected advantages. Teachers who use terms like “based” (authentic) or “W” (win) connect better with students. Managers who understand “quiet quitting” or “soft life” can address workplace trends proactively. Even parents who text “FR” (for real) or “OTP” (one true pairing) might get a laugh—and a conversation—from their teens.
Linguistic adaptability also keeps brains sharp. Learning new words and phrases exercises cognitive flexibility, a skill linked to problem-solving and creativity. As sociolinguist Carmen Fought puts it, “Language change keeps us mentally young.”
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A New Mindset: “Never Again”
The next time you hear a phrase that sounds alien, pause. Instead of thinking, “Kids don’t talk like that,” ask yourself: “What can I learn here?” Language isn’t just about grammar rules—it’s about connection. By meeting younger generations where they are, adults build trust, foster understanding, and stay relevant in a rapidly changing world.
After all, today’s “cringey” slang is tomorrow’s nostalgia. And who knows? In 20 years, your kids might groan when you say, “That’s so sus!”—completing the circle of linguistic life.
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