When Substitute Teachers Play by Different Rules: Navigating Classroom Fairness
We’ve all been there: a substitute teacher walks into the classroom, and suddenly, the unspoken rules you’ve followed all year seem to vanish. Maybe they rearrange seating charts for no apparent reason, assign surprise pop quizzes, or—in my case—hand out detentions for behaviors every other teacher shrugged off. It’s frustrating, confusing, and often feels deeply unfair. Let’s unpack why this happens and how to handle it without losing your cool.
The Day Everything Changed
Picture this: You’re halfway through the semester, and your usual math teacher is out sick. Enter Ms. Thompson, the substitute. She’s strict from the get-go—no talking during warm-ups, no borrowing pencils from classmates, and absolutely no phones, even if you’re just checking the time.
By lunchtime, half the class is already side-eyeing her. Then it happens: You pull out a granola bar during a quiet worksheet session because you skipped breakfast. Your regular teacher never cared—they’ve even joked about keeping snacks in their desk for hungry students. But Ms. Thompson? She freezes mid-sentence, points at you, and says, “No eating in class. That’s a detention.”
Cue the internal screaming.
Why Do Subs Sometimes Overcorrect?
Substitute teachers operate in a tough spot. They’re temporary authority figures walking into unfamiliar territory, often with limited context about class norms. To maintain control, many adopt a “better safe than sorry” approach. If a rule exists technically—like a school-wide no-eating policy—they might enforce it strictly to avoid chaos, even if your regular teacher bends it.
There’s also psychology at play. Research shows that substitutes often feel pressure to prove their authority quickly. Enforcing minor rules can be a way to establish dominance in a room full of students who might test boundaries. It’s not personal; it’s survival mode.
The “But Everyone Else Does It!” Dilemma
When you’re hit with a consequence that feels random, your first instinct might be to argue. “Mr. Davis lets us eat snacks!” or “Why are you the only one who cares about this?!” But here’s the problem: Challenging a sub’s decision in the moment rarely works. They’re likely doubling down to avoid appearing inconsistent or weak.
Instead, take a breath and ask yourself:
1. Is this rule actually in the student handbook? If yes, the sub isn’t wrong—just more by-the-book.
2. Does their reaction seem disproportionate? If they’re yelling or punishing the whole class for one person’s mistake, that’s worth addressing later.
3. Can I resolve this without escalating? Sometimes, a calm “I didn’t realize this wasn’t allowed—I’ll put it away” defuses tension.
How to Advocate for Yourself (Without Sounding Whiny)
Let’s say you do get that detention. What now?
Step 1: Comply in the moment. Arguing mid-class disrupts everyone and paints you as defiant. Write down what happened—time, location, exact rule cited—and save it for later.
Step 2: Talk to your regular teacher. When they return, explain the situation calmly. Most teachers will either:
– Confirm the sub overreacted and dismiss the detention.
– Clarify the actual policy (“Snacks are okay if they’re quiet and mess-free”).
– Use it as a teaching moment about adapting to different expectations.
Step 3: If necessary, escalate respectfully. If the detention stands unfairly or the sub was openly hostile, involve a counselor or administrator. Focus on facts, not feelings: “I was given a detention for a rule that hasn’t been enforced all year. Can we discuss how to handle this?”
The Bigger Lesson: Flexibility Matters
As maddening as substitute teacher conflicts feel, they’re low-stakes training for real-world curveballs. Bosses, professors, and landlords won’t care that your previous manager let you take longer breaks or that your last apartment allowed pets. Adapting to shifting rules is a life skill.
Use these moments to practice:
– Reading the room. Notice how authority figures operate and adjust accordingly.
– Choosing battles. Is fighting a granola bar detention worth your energy?
– Documenting issues. Keeping records protects you if a pattern of unfairness emerges.
What Subs Wish Students Knew
To humanize the other side, I asked a few substitute teachers for their perspectives:
– “We’re not out to get anyone.” Most subs want an easy day. Punishing students creates more work.
– “We don’t know your routines.” Your teacher might allow hoodies or group work, but subs often follow school-wide guidelines they’re given.
– “Please don’t ‘test’ us.” Deliberately breaking rules to see what happens puts everyone on edge.
Turning Frustration into Growth
That detention still stings, right? But reframing it helps. Maybe Ms. Thompson’s strictness taught you to:
– Double-check school policies you’ve ignored.
– Keep snacks quieter (hello, silent wrappers!).
– Advocate for yourself politely but firmly.
In the end, substitute teachers are temporary, but how you handle conflict lasts. Stay calm, learn the lesson (even if it’s not the one the sub intended), and save the venting for your friends after school. You’ve got this.
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