Why We Need to Rethink Gendered Expectations in Extracurriculars
When 14-year-old Mia signed up for her school’s robotics club, she didn’t expect the whispers. “Why’s she here?” a classmate muttered. Another joked, “Shouldn’t you be in dance class?” Mia’s story isn’t unique. Across schools, girls face subtle—and sometimes overt—pressure to stick to “girls’ activities,” while interests outside those boundaries are met with confusion, ridicule, or even disgust. The phrase “grossed out by girls’ extra currs” captures a troubling trend: society’s discomfort when girls defy stereotypes to explore diverse passions. Let’s unpack why this happens and how we can create spaces where every student feels free to grow.
The Problem with “Girls’ Activities”
From toddler ballet classes to high school cheerleading squads, certain hobbies get labeled as “for girls.” These activities often emphasize aesthetics, nurturing roles, or social harmony—think theater, art clubs, or volunteering. Meanwhile, STEM clubs, sports like football or wrestling, and competitive debates are still perceived as “masculine.” When girls gravitate toward the latter, they’re often labeled “quirky,” “tomboyish,” or worse.
But why do we find it gross when girls step outside these boxes? The revulsion isn’t about the activities themselves; it’s about violating unspoken gender rules. A 2022 study by the National Education Association found that 63% of girls who joined male-dominated clubs reported teasing, compared to just 12% of boys in female-dominated groups. The message is clear: girls are allowed to be spectators in “boys’ worlds,” but active participation unsettles people.
Where Does This Discomfort Come From?
1. Deep-Rooted Stereotypes
For centuries, societies assigned roles based on gender, linking femininity to softness and masculinity to strength. While progress has been made, these ideas linger. A girl coding a video game or joining a weightlifting team challenges the subconscious belief that “girls shouldn’t compete in ‘hard’ fields.”
2. Fear of Social Disruption
Humans crave predictability. When girls defy norms, it forces others to question their own biases. A boy in a cooking class might be praised as “adventurous,” but a girl in auto repair? Suddenly, peers feel threatened by her confidence—or worse, worry she’ll outshine them.
3. Media Reinforcement
Pop culture rarely shows girls excelling in “non-girly” spaces without being portrayed as misfits. Think of the “nerdy girl” trope in movies: glasses, awkwardness, and zero social life. These narratives imply that stepping outside gendered hobbies costs girls their femininity—and likability.
The Hidden Costs of Policing Girls’ Interests
When we discourage girls from exploring diverse activities, the consequences ripple far beyond childhood:
– Limited Career Pathways
Extracurriculars shape career interests. Girls steered away from STEM or leadership clubs are less likely to pursue those fields professionally. By college, only 18% of computer science majors are women—a statistic rooted in early discouragement.
– Eroded Self-Expression
Teens use hobbies to explore identity. Forcing girls into “approved” activities sends a message: Your authenticity is less important than fitting in. Over time, this breeds self-doubt. A 2023 Harvard study found that girls who suppressed “non-feminine” interests were 30% more likely to struggle with anxiety.
– Perpetuating Harmful Norms
When schools and parents tolerate teasing of girls in “boys’ clubs,” they normalize sexism. Boys learn it’s acceptable to gatekeep hobbies, while girls internalize that their worth hinges on compliance.
How to Foster Inclusive Extracurricular Cultures
Changing this dynamic requires effort from parents, educators, and peers. Here’s where to start:
For Parents:
– Challenge Your Biases
Notice if you cheer louder for your daughter’s piano recital than her chess tournament. Encourage her curiosity, even if it surprises you.
– Expand Her Options
Introduce her to role models in male-dominated fields. Watch documentaries about female engineers or athletes together.
For Schools:
– Audit Club Cultures
Are certain groups dominated by one gender? Host mixed-gender workshops to normalize diversity. A robotics team might invite the art club to collaborate on a project, breaking down barriers.
– Train Staff
Teachers often unknowingly reinforce stereotypes. Professional development sessions can help them spot and address gendered exclusion.
For Students:
– Be an Upstander
If you hear someone mock a girl for joining the coding club, speak up. A simple “Why does that bother you?” can spark reflection.
– Mix Friend Groups
Cliques often form around hobbies. Branch out—join a new club, and invite others to do the same.
Redefining What’s “Gross”
The discomfort around girls’ extracurricular choices isn’t about the activities—it’s about our collective resistance to change. When we label certain interests as “gross” for girls, we rob them of opportunities to discover their strengths. Imagine a world where a girl’s passion for football or robotics is met with the same enthusiasm as her ballet performance. That world isn’t just possible; it’s essential.
Mia, the robotics club member, eventually quit after months of sidelong glances. But what if her classmates had asked, “Can you teach me that?” instead of questioning her place? The next generation of girls deserves better than outdated stereotypes. Let’s give them room to explore, experiment, and—yes—even gross us out a little. After all, progress rarely feels comfortable at first.
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