Feeling Like You Didn’t Do School “Correctly”? Here’s Why That’s Okay
We’ve all had those moments—lying awake at night, replaying our school years, and wondering, Did I mess this up? Maybe you switched majors three times, skipped internships to work part-time jobs, or graduated without a clear career path. Perhaps you compare yourself to peers who landed dream jobs straight out of college or envy friends who seemed to ace every exam effortlessly. That nagging voice whispering, I didn’t do school the right way, is more common than you think. But what if there’s no such thing as a “correct” school experience? Let’s unpack why this feeling arises and how to reframe it.
The Pressure to Follow a Script
From childhood, society hands us a checklist for academic success: get good grades, join clubs, attend a prestigious university, choose a practical major, secure internships, and graduate into a stable job. This linear path is portrayed as the golden ticket to happiness and security. But what happens when life doesn’t follow the script?
For many, deviations feel like failures. A student who studies art history instead of computer science might face raised eyebrows. Someone taking a gap year could be labeled “unfocused.” Even high achievers often feel insecure—like the straight-A graduate who panics because they’ve never explored hobbies or relationships outside of academics. The problem isn’t the choices we make; it’s the belief that there’s only one way to succeed.
The Myth of the “Right” Path
Let’s challenge the idea that school has a “correct” formula. Think about the most innovative people in history: Steve Jobs dropped out of college, J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter while unemployed, and Maya Angelou worked odd jobs for years before becoming a literary icon. Their paths were messy, nonlinear, and full of detours—yet those experiences shaped their unique perspectives.
School isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. It’s a tool for exploration, not a rigid roadmap. For some, college is about networking and career prep. For others, it’s a time to discover passions, build friendships, or simply grow as a person. None of these outcomes are inferior. The pressure to optimize every decision—to treat education like a transactional checklist—robs us of the chance to learn through trial and error.
Why “Mistakes” Are Misunderstood
That semester you failed a class? The internship you turned down? The elective course that felt “useless” at the time? These aren’t failures—they’re data points. Every “wrong” choice teaches us something valuable. For example:
– Switching majors helps you rule out careers that don’t align with your values.
– Struggling in a subject builds resilience and creative problem-solving.
– Taking an unconventional job teaches skills (like customer service or time management) that transfer to any field.
Even procrastination has its lessons. Research shows that people who forgive themselves for procrastinating often become more productive, as guilt-free reflection helps them adjust their habits. Similarly, reframing academic “missteps” as learning opportunities reduces shame and fuels growth.
Redefining Success on Your Terms
If school feels like a series of regrets, it might be time to redefine what success means to you. Start by asking:
1. What did I actually gain? List skills, relationships, or moments of personal growth—no matter how small. Did you learn to manage deadlines? Overcome public speaking fears? Discover a love for coding? These matter more than a GPA.
2. Where does the comparison come from? Social media and cultural narratives often spotlight outliers (the 22-year-old CEO, the viral influencer). But most people’s journeys are quieter and slower—and that’s okay.
3. What do I want now? Your school experience doesn’t dictate your future. Whether you’re 25 or 55, you can pivot, learn new skills, or revisit old passions.
Practical Steps to Move Forward
1. Talk to Others
You’re not alone in feeling this way. Chat with mentors, friends, or even strangers online. You’ll quickly realize that everyone has doubts—even the classmate who seemed to have it all together.
2. Embrace Lifelong Learning
School is just one chapter. Platforms like Coursera, workshops, or community classes let you explore interests at any age. A marketing major can study graphic design; an engineer can take creative writing courses.
3. Focus on Transferable Skills
Employers increasingly value adaptability over specific degrees. Did you organize group projects? That’s leadership. Did you balance school with a job? That’s time management. These skills apply everywhere.
4. Write a New Story
Instead of framing your past as a series of errors, craft a narrative that highlights growth. For example: “I took time to explore different fields, which helped me clarify my goals.” This mindset shift boosts confidence and helps others see your journey as an asset.
The Bigger Picture: School as a Stepping Stone
Education isn’t about perfection—it’s about exploration. Some of the most fulfilled people didn’t “do school correctly.” They meandered, took risks, and prioritized curiosity over conformity. Your worth isn’t tied to academic accolades or a flawless transcript. It’s tied to how you use your experiences to keep evolving.
So, the next time that critical voice says, You should’ve done more, reply with: I did what I could with the knowledge and resources I had at the time. And remind yourself: the beauty of life is that it’s never too late to chart a new course.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Feeling Like You Didn’t Do School “Correctly”