To Walk or Not to Walk: Deciding Whether to Attend Your Graduation
Graduation day is often painted as a universal milestone—a glittering capstone to years of hard work. But what if you’re debating whether to actually attend the ceremony? Maybe the idea of sitting through hours of speeches feels tedious, or perhaps logistical challenges make participation complicated. Whatever your reasons, the decision to skip or attend graduation is deeply personal. Let’s unpack the factors that might help you choose what’s right for you.
The Emotional Weight of Tradition
For many, graduation isn’t just an event—it’s a ritual. It’s a chance to physically close one chapter of life and step into the next. Families often view it as a collective celebration, a moment to acknowledge shared sacrifices (like those late-night study sessions your parents fueled with pizza). If you have relatives who’ve been cheering you on since kindergarten, skipping might feel like denying them a chance to savor the payoff.
On the flip side, if your academic journey was solitary or fraught with challenges, the ceremony might feel disconnected from your actual experience. One college graduate shared, “I almost didn’t walk because my degree was earned during lockdowns. It didn’t feel like the ‘normal’ college experience everyone talks about.” For some, attending could symbolize resilience; for others, it might stir unresolved emotions.
Practical Considerations You Can’t Ignore
Logistics play a bigger role than you’d think. Let’s say you’ve already landed a job that starts immediately after finals. Flying back for a ceremony could mean taking unpaid leave or missing critical training days. Or maybe the costs—travel, gown rentals, guest tickets—add up to a budget strain. One student calculated that attending her out-of-state graduation would cost over $800. “That’s two months of groceries,” she reasoned.
Health and comfort matter, too. Large crowds, bright lights, and hours of sitting might overwhelm someone with social anxiety or chronic illness. If the thought of walking across a stage makes your stomach churn, forcing yourself to participate could overshadow the joy of the day.
The “FOMO” Factor: Will You Regret It?
Fear of missing out is real. Scrolling through friends’ cap-and-gown selfies later might trigger second-guessing. Graduation ceremonies are designed to create “core memories”—the pomp, the applause, the collective pride. Even if the event itself feels tedious, those shared moments can become nostalgic touchstones.
But here’s the thing: FOMO works both ways. If you attend solely to please others, you might resent the time spent. A recent graduate admitted, “I went for my mom, but I spent the whole day stressed about missing my friend’s farewell trip. I wish I’d prioritized what I wanted.”
Creative Alternatives to the Traditional Ceremony
Skipping the formal event doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate. Many students design their own milestones:
– Host a small gathering with lovedones who supported you. A backyard BBQ or cozy dinner can feel more personal than a stadium full of strangers.
– Plan a symbolic gesture, like visiting a meaningful spot (your favorite study café, the library where you pulled all-nighters) to reflect on your growth.
– Invest in a tangible memento, such as a customized graduation photo shoot or a engraved keepsake.
– Donate the money saved from skipping the event to a cause tied to your field of study.
One engineering grad shared, “I used my ‘graduation fund’ to backpack across Europe. It was my way of honoring the independence I gained through college.”
Cultural and Familial Expectations
In some cultures, graduation ceremonies hold immense significance. For first-generation students or immigrant families, walking the stage might represent a triumph over systemic barriers. A daughter of refugees explained, “My parents never had the chance to finish school. When I walked, it wasn’t just my degree—it was their victory, too.”
That said, not all family dynamics are supportive. If tensions exist—say, estranged relatives or pressure to perform gratitude—attending could reopen emotional wounds. Open communication is key. One student negotiated by livestreaming the ceremony for distant relatives while celebrating locally with chosen family.
The Case for Doing… Nothing
Here’s a radical idea: What if graduation isn’t a big deal? For some, the achievement lies in the degree itself, not the fanfare. If you’re the type who finds traditional milestones overrated, skipping might align with your authentic self. A minimalist graduate shrugged, “I treated graduation day like any other. I slept in, ordered takeout, and started my job hunt. No regrets.”
Final Thoughts: Trust Your Gut
There’s no universal answer. Ask yourself:
– Will attending add value to my experience, or is it performative?
– Do the costs (financial, emotional, or logistical) outweigh the benefits?
– Can I honor this achievement in a way that feels true to me?
Remember, graduation is about celebrating your journey. Whether you walk across a stage, hike up a mountain, or mark the day quietly, what matters is recognizing how far you’ve come—on your own terms.
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