What I’d Tell My Child About Handling Bullies (and Why It Works)
Hey buddy, let’s talk about something tough. You know how sometimes kids at school or the park say mean things, push others around, or try to make someone feel small? That’s bullying—and it stinks. But here’s the thing: you’re not powerless. Over the years, I’ve learned a few ways to handle bullies that actually work, and I want to share them with you. This isn’t about fighting back or hiding—it’s about staying strong, staying you, and knowing when to ask for help.
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1. Bullies Feed on Reactions—Starve Them
Bullies often pick on others to feel powerful or get attention. If they see you getting upset, scared, or angry, it’s like fuel for them. So here’s a trick: stay calm. Take a deep breath, stand tall, and keep your face neutral. If they call you a name or make fun of your shoes, shrug and say something boring like, “Okay,” or “Thanks for sharing.” Then walk away.
This doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’re smart. By refusing to give them the reaction they want, you take away their power. Most bullies will lose interest fast if you don’t play their game.
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2. Find Your People (They’re Out There)
Bullies often target kids who seem alone. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with friends who respect and support you. Stick with your group during lunch, recess, or walking home. If you don’t have a close friend yet, join a club, team, or activity where you’ll meet kids who share your interests.
And here’s a secret: adults are part of your “people” too. If someone’s bothering you, tell a teacher, coach, or me. You’re not “tattling”—you’re protecting yourself and others. Most schools have rules against bullying, but they can’t help if they don’t know what’s happening.
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3. Practice Confidence (Even If You Don’t Feel It)
Confidence is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Stand tall, make eye contact, and speak clearly. Bullies are less likely to pick on someone who looks self-assured. Practice saying phrases like, “Stop. I don’t like that,” or “Leave me alone” in front of a mirror. It might feel silly, but it’ll prepare you for real situations.
Remember, confidence isn’t about being loud or tough. It’s about knowing your worth. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
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4. Know When to Walk Away
Some bullies just want to stir up drama. If ignoring them doesn’t work, leave the situation. Go to a teacher’s classroom, join another group of kids, or text me to pick you up early. Walking away isn’t cowardly—it’s a choice to protect your peace.
If you’re online, block the person and report their account. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
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5. Keep a Log (Seriously, It Helps)
If bullying keeps happening, write down the details: what happened, who was involved, where it took place, and the time. Save screenshots if it’s online. This isn’t about dwelling on the bad stuff—it’s about having proof if you need to talk to a teacher or principal. Adults take situations more seriously when there’s a clear pattern.
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6. Don’t Let Them Define You
Bullies might say hurtful things about your clothes, hobbies, or the way you talk. But their words say more about them than about you. Maybe they’re insecure, jealous, or copying someone else’s behavior. Their opinion isn’t the truth.
Remind yourself of what you know is true: “I’m good at math,” “I’m a loyal friend,” or “I’m learning guitar.” Write these things down and read them when you’re feeling down.
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7. Self-Care Isn’t Just for Grown-Ups
Dealing with bullies can be exhausting. Make time for things that recharge you—drawing, playing basketball, reading comics, or watching your favorite show. Talk to someone you trust, even if it’s just venting for five minutes. And if you’re feeling really stuck, ask me about seeing a counselor. There’s zero shame in getting extra support.
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8. Be the Kid You Admire
One day, you’ll look back on this time and realize how brave you were. Use this experience to be the person who stands up for others. If you see someone being picked on, sit next to them, invite them to join your game, or tell a teacher. Kindness is contagious—and it’s the ultimate bully repellent.
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Final Thought
Bullying says everything about the bully and nothing about you. You’re not alone, and this won’t last forever. Keep being your curious, creative, kind self—the world needs more of that. And remember, no matter what happens, I’ve got your back. Always.
P.S. If you’re not sure what to do in a specific situation, come find me. We’ll figure it out together. 💪
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